She is in Assisted Living. Her short term memory is pretty much gone. The funeral will be 8 hour drive to probably her favorite place on earth where she grew up. She is medicated for high anxiety and depression. I will definitely tell her of her brother's passing. I believe she will probably remember most of the time. I think it helps her to stay on her routine. I know there are people reading this who have had to make similar decision. What did you do, and did you regret it? My brother leans towards not taking her.
Was your mom only an Xmas card & birthday card exchange with her brother or did they talk on phone every Sunday at 10:00 - if former don't take her if latter then check with dr, social worker etc - this will be stressful to all & possibly give her a set back that coul take a long time if ever to get over
If she hasn't been there then everyone will remember her as a more vigorous person - hard choices - I don't think I'd even take mom to dad's funeral as she would be too much of a handful & wouldn't know why she was there
You can't predict how she would react if you were to attend the funeral, especially after such a long drive. I think it is useful to remember that persons with memory loss may not remember the actual event, i.e. her brother's funeral, but the feeling of seeing him in a casket would likely upset her for a considerable amount of time.
Also, it would be stressful for her to encounter people that she no longer remembered, as people at the funeral will remember her, but it will be difficult for her to be reminded of her memory loss when people attempt to talk with her.
Please don't feel guilty if you choose to stay home. It would be a wise decision for both of you.
We need to let them have as much peace as possible with this horrible disease.
And above all do not feel guilty whatever your decision.
If you do decide to take her, follow Edna317's excellent suggestions for how to do it. Make it a trip to see her hometown and friends, and do as much as you can while you are there so that visiting her brother in his casket won't be her only memory of the trip. If, of course, she remembers it at all.