Ok all, I am in a conundrum and need advice. This week I took my mom's dog to the vet and it turns out the dog needs major dental work done, the dog's teeth are rotting. My mom hasn't taken her dog to a vet in 3 years. The vet recommended having teeth extracted and it'll require the dog to be sedated but the dog also has a heart murmur so it's a bit of a risk, just a minor risk. But, once fixed, doggie will have many more years ahead. As soon as we finished the vet visit my mom said "I'm never going back there" but I know that without getting this dog's teeth extracted, it's going to get a terrible infection and die within a year or so. If we can get doggie tooth surgery, the dog has many more years to live. My mom lives for this dog. I know my mom is going to be resistant to the steps that we need to take to get this done. Do we move ahead and just try to convince my mom to work with us to take the dog in? Or do I go with what my mom wants which is to do nothing even though I know it will harm the dog and my mom because she'll lose the dog sooner? Anyone who's been through this, what do you recommend.
Your mum will get over it, but she won't deal well with her dog getting ill and dying.
I don't think he/she has been back.
Not knowing your home situation, you could stay with her & the dog. As you already stated, your mom lives for her pup. I, have two dogs that I adore too. Can you sit down & discuss this with your mom?
Sorry for all the questions! For myself, when I'm uncertain in a similar situation, I usually go with my 1st thought, or gut instinct. It's a very hard thing do. Doing the right thing is often usually the most difficult.
I had a nagging feeling bothering me for awhile. I didnt go with my gut instinct, and I should have. It has never steered me wrong.
Goodluck to you, your daughter and the beloved pup!
Best wishes!
that’s a fact
i woukd advise your mother her dog is in pain and to be frank if she does not do anything the dog should be put into care /
anyone who has ever had a bad tooth knows the level of pain - same for the poor dog
she either gets it sorted or the dog will be taken away from her
tgey need to put a dog to sleep for this - maybe that’s her fear ?
end of day id rather take that risk than see my dog in pain ?
good luck
I think the 'real' concern / issue is realizing that you mother cannot take care of the dog, based on her behavior over the last three years = no vet visits, rotting teeth. She doesn't have the cognitive ability to care for the dog as any pet needs to be cared for - do you tell her this ? Not necessarily. It is an extremely sensitive issue. Not only is she possibly losing the dog, she is losing her independence and both are huge changes for her, bringing up fear, dred, loss.
She will not be able to cope 'easily' - it will be extremely difficult for her so be prepared for anger and tears.
BOTTOM LINE: Your mother cannot care for the dog as needed.
Unless you are willing to do regular vet visits ... check on the dog as / when you check on your mother ... basically you are the dog's guardian although the dog (may be) will be staying with your mom. Can you do this?
What would I do? I would (likely) do what the vet says to do.
Rotting teeth can lead to many other serious disease - and PAIN for the dog.
The dog may feel PAIN now due to the rotting teeth. Have digestive issues due to an inability to chew enough, etc.
Then, once the teeth are extracted, will your mother remember to only feed the dog SOFT FOODS vs anything that it would need to chew ?
In a situation like this, there is no easy solution that doesn't cause upset, heartache, pain - for you, your mother, and the dog. You must do what is right for the dog, as you would / are doing for your mom.
Whatever decisions you make, this is how I would handle communicating with your mom:
1. Let her get it out - her feelings, emotions. Give her LOTS OF ROOM / space to talk and cry and scream (or whatever / however she expresses grief / sadness).
2. Offer 'reflective listening' i.e., "I hear you saying xxx"
3. Reaffirm "I know you love xxx (the dog's name) and want the best for her 'TOO' ... Your mother will be focused on her own needs / attachment / feelings for the dog, not so much for the dog 'first'. I believe your mother doesn't have the ability to make this distinction - to do what is best for your beloved pet.
In another vein, has your mother been tested for dementia? Memory loss?
If not, I would get her cognitive abilities tested soon. It is clearly a RED FLAG to me that she hasn't taken her dog to a vet for three years.
- What about nail trims - (who does this) ?
- Bathing ?
- Grooming?
I know you are asking about the pros / cons of teeth extraction due to sedation although there are many other concerns you need to address as I've outlined here. Clearly, this is not an easy situation for YOU to be in. My heart goes out to you - and your mom and the dog.
Gena / Touch Matters
I, to be honest with you, consider such neglect of an animal abuse. And I have little sympathy with those who will allow their animals or their children to be ill or in pain. Fortunately, with children, there is a way to address this; CPS is called. With animals, and in the case of this type of neglect, there is little to be done.
If your mother is demented and not responsible for her own decisions then you can and you should relieve this poor animal's agony.
If your mother is NOT demented--were it me and she chose to allow her animal to suffer--the suffering wouldn't take place where I would be privy to it.
So I am just saying, for me, animal abuse is a DEAL BREAKER. I would not allow any parent, child, brother, sister, friend or anyone else to abuse an animal. I would drop them like a hot potato.
What you do, has to be up to you. Your mother already told you she intends to allow this dog to suffer (PLEASE don't give me any nonsense about how much she loves it). If that's her decision she'd do it without me looking on. Your decision must be your own for your own life.
I said that to say this; you said your mom lives for that dog. I wouldn't just do Nothing.
Can you get a 2nd opinion?
Is it the cost that's the issue?
Personally, I would (if I had the financial means) help the dog. It would be nice to extend his life for your mom's health too.
My .02
I hoping the best for your mom and her dog.
Passed last week, because of a tooth infection. We are all heart broken.
Adorable little guy , would only let me put his flea meds on him, so he felt like mine. Granted he was older but when I saw him 2 weeks ago, he had much life left in him.
Maybe tell mom my story. 😓 , ugh now I'm crying again.
Definitely go with your instincts and take care of the dog properly - so they can continue living a happy and healthy life! And, whatever you need to do in advance to ensure that your mom won't be feeding him/her in the morning!
Wishing you the best of great luck in this!! Your mom's dog is lucky to have you as their advocate!
If the dog gets an infection then take it to the vet and treat it and then have the conversation about pulling other bad teeth with your Mom.
I had a 10 lb Jack Russell shorty and getting the teeth cleaned and pulled wasn't cheap. I had to pay for an exam and labwork before they'd do the procedure. Also, smaller dogs have a bigger risk when sedated.
How old is your Mom's dog and how much does it weigh?