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VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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She has been on 25 mg of zoloft for about 5 years - could this contribute to the hallucinations. Also, she has days when she is what I would call normal, very much like her old self. Is this typical of dementia?
Sounds like either drug related or she has a urinary tract infection. My mother-in-law has dementia and she doesn't talk to invisible people, but then again she's not taking the same meds that your mother is probably. Check out the UTI.
My husband also has hallucinations, some of the time, he is lucid most of the time. Doctors did change some meds and he has just been treated for UT also. I try to figure out who he is talking to and where he thinks he is and go along with it until he come "back". He is 75 and hasn't drivin in 10 years but today told me we are buying a Nissan and thinks I am having a baby...HA!!! Keep a good sense of humor it will get you far. Good luck.
gkerg - jerseygirlpat said it right - keep a good sense of humor and it WILL get you far.
With my Mom, I found out there was absolutely nothing I could do to alter her reality. Even if changed for a moment, she'd soon return to speaking or looking for her Mom and Sister who died 40 and 3 years before.
Yes, check into Meds and yes, whenever my Mom experienced a urinary tract infection it added to her speaking with those who have already gone on. Nonetheless, her 'reality' would not be altered by true reality. So the best thing for me, and I suggest everyone, is after issues of health and safety have been addressed - a person with Alzheimer's lives and breathes not by intellect or reason, but by emotions.
Therefore, keep their emotional content filled to the brim with positive things - especially when their perception of reality isn't what it might be. Even if that means going along with their conversations, etc. because most likely her 'reality' will to some degree change quite soon, anyway. (My Mom once believed she was pregnant - I was taking her to the hospital for a checkup and what else do you do when you are a woman going to the hospital??? Give birth.)
Go with the flow. You'll then discover a growing peace between all concerned.
gkerg - Thanks for the positive replies. I do try to go along with the flow but have to say I am not successful all of the time. She has been checked recently for a UTI, but there was no infection. I spoke with my dr's office last night and he said it's just the dementia, not the zoloft or a uti. Just wanted to confirm this. As you well know, this is a difficult disease and affects everyone in the home. My Mom is 94 and lives with me and my husband and it can be stressful at times. Thank God, she is pretty healthy except for age related issues. Thanks again and God bless you. I will try to keep a good sense of humor!
God bless you gkerg and your family for looking after your 94 year old mother. I am a man looking after my 89 year old deaf mother who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's three years ago. She communicates by lip-reading. She is very healthy and seems to have boundless energy. For this reason I have withheld her prescription. I also have no female friend or relative that she would trust enough to go into the bathroom to take a proper urine sample, as I understand it, to determine if she has a UTI. My question to you or anyone out there is this : is there a procedure for determining UTI that doesn't require a urine sample taken in the manner that all urine samples are taken? I would dearly love to make that determination and if she shows a UTI then I wouldn't hesitate to put her on an anti-biotic just to see if her "condition" improves and she reverts to some degree of what passes for normal for her.
gkerg - my mom has Alz and also has hallucinations. What I've learned is that if the hallucinations aren't bothering her, let it be. Go along if she wants your opinion or interaction. If they upset her, then you need to try to divert her or possibly try medication. (If she needs the mirror for her conversations, maybe cover it with a cloth. Only if she is upset, of course.)
Unfortunately, my mom's hallucinations have always been of the more upsetting type. Strange people in the house, police coming, etc. Once early on when she was having them a lot, she told us that a nurse came to the house and took her blood pressure and another person was with her. We thought it was another hallucination until she found the business card they left! Turns out someone called and reported us to the area dept on aging. It's been more than 18 months - never did find out who it was.
philipseth - last time I was in the hospital, instead of a cup, they had a container that they put on the toilet under the lid. Basically is a shallow bowl and catches everything. If you had one of these, your mom could go to the bathroom in private and you could then pour the sample into a cup.
Your mom's dr office also might help, but then you have to be there until she needs to go. Good luck!
Grandma has dementia. Other than an oxygen starved brain due to cardiovascular insufficiency and stroke, she is fine. No UTI, no medication reactions.
Her mother died in 1975 or so but she talks quite openly about seeing, hugging, and talking to her. She asks my mother to call her parents and tell them she won't be home at night when she goes to bed. She thinks her mother is storing furniture for her. She tells us of the hugs she got from mama last night. There are any number of stories that she tells us about her parents or siblings that just don't happen in our reality. Grandma was one of 10 children all but her and one sister have all passed. Some days she knows this, some days she speaks of them in present tense.
In the beginning my mother tried to "ground her" in our present reality by telling her the truth of who was still here and who had passed away. Grandma grieved each time she was told the facts and it became obvious that it was needless, repetative suffering.
We now just go with whatever she says. Your mama is alive? Ok that's wonderful. No we can't go see her today, maybe soon though.
It was strange and uncomfortable to go with this flow at the beginning. But it sure beats hours and hours of uncomfortable crying and sadness.
@philipseth....you can get a urine sample from her. Ask her doctor, but our doctor gave us a "pad" to put in her undergarment. Our pediatrician did the same thing for our infant. Good luck to all.
If the hallucinations are scary to your mother and are causing psychic pain or difficulty behavior, you might think of asking her doctor for a very low dose of an anti-psychotic medication like risperdol. that helped my father's hallucinations. he's on .5 mg. i'm surprised your doctor did not recommend it.
Thank you everyone for all the wonderful input here.... such great answers!! My mom is with me and has alzheimers and regular hallucinations but most of them relate to seeing friends and family that have passed but it seems to give her comfort to have them around and I realized it was silly of me to try to bring her back to reality so I've learned to go along and enjoy the fact that "they" keep her very occupied and engaged in wonderful conversations. Because her conversations seem to take place in her past, it's actually been interesting at times listening in and I feel like I've had a glimpse into her life when she was much younger and hearing the love in her voice when she talks to her Dad and others. My mom is under Hospice care and I really do wonder if God doesn't put her friends and family around her for comfort .....and to give me a break.... :o) God bless all of you for taking care of your loved ones!
People with dementia are often confused, and her talking to the dead seems like a wish to travel back in time to a place where feels safe, surrounded by people she once knew. The confusion and moments of "normalcy" are all part of the disease process.
Hallucinations, on the other hand, might be a severe side effect of Zoloft, in which case I urge you to seek medical care immediately. 25 mg. might be too much.
i have a litle different way seeing this- i guess it depends on your beliefs- i believe that just because someone has passed on from this life-doesnt always mean they are totally gone- have any of u ever felt or heard from someone u were close to after they died? i believe my grandparents,with whom i was very close to, do come around-i cant see them, but i can smell them, and hear them-on some level- i guess some of u will think that is crazy- but it is what i have experienced,and who is to say what is real and what is not? regardless, it helps me, and that is what is important. back to your question, my dad passed 6 yrs ago, and a few months ago, mom started asking about him. he is very sick right?she would ask. he is suffering and in a lot of pain? he cant visit me can he- where is he? i told her , where he is now, he cant come to visit her, but that he wasnt far away- and even if she didnt see him,she felt him. he was with her inher heart- who is to say that just because we cant see who they see- that they are malfunctioning--- its connecting to people that they spent so much of this life with. unless it is someone or something that is causing fear or anger or violent behavior, then what is the harm? we can still learn so much from our parents, if we just allow ourselves to. after all their perception is their reality as is ours-
Yes, this is typical of dementia. I saw it in both my late father and his older sister (both had dementia). For a dementia patient, their timeline is askew - realities from the past are as real as the present. Long-term memory is still present, whereas short-term is rapidly disappearing. That's why friends from the past are likely to "surface" instead of current ones.
While I agree that it is important to check for things like UTIs, it is also common in dementia to more lucid periods alternating with more confused ones. In nursing homes, Alzheimer's patients are often seen carrying on complete conversations with a person in a mirror.
Last week my Mom was in and out of lucidity (?), She asked did I have enough wood to keep my house warm, she said "we" were out all night chopping wood ( we live in S.W. TX) the temps were in the high 70's. When I didn't understand and oh mom, I think you were dreaming! She grew very cross and said OH NO I'm not dreaming!!! whats wrong with you don't you remember!! I said ohh yeah...it was cold last night. She settled down and changed the subject. That was very new for me...their reality is their truth.
sumlerc- u did the right thing to agree with her . whatever she says just say yep ure right mom ... that way she wont be so confuse and be all upset about it , she prob did those woodcuttin back in her days , i cut wood and i burn wood , so when i get old i ll prob be telling my kids we need wood !! lol yes thier reality is the truth ,
My Mum has had dementia now for years and dad being her carer has been in denial as to their generation it meant you were crazy, thank god we do not think this way any more, dad now is in hospital and very sick we have taken mum to different specialist to get mum diagnosed, to date we are still waiting for her medication, which should be here in two days, anyway, mum therefore is on no medication for her condition just the normal high blood pressure and cholesterol med, now being alone of a night time she is starting to see her passed loved ones, her dad. passed away 30 years, her mother passed away 50 years, and her fathers new wife he had who is also gone, her mother in my mums opinion was missing last night, when I asked her which room she slept in she was adamant that it was the big bedroom where she always has been staying, so no drugs involved here, I just let her now that nan must have gone home and not to worry, make a cuppa sit back with your cat watch a bit of TV and relax everything is fine, reassure her and she is happy again, what else can you do never argue just agree their reality is theirs keep them happy good luck it can be very exhaustin
Hallucinations can be part of dementia. They can also be side effects of medication. It kind of depends on what kind of dementia and medication are involved. People who sundown can see hallucinations. It just depends.
If your mom has not been seen by a dementia specialist, they will know more than a regular family doctor, and can talk to you about other options, and what they will try next if this current thing isn't working. Sometimes medication is the right answer, sometimes not.
My mother had visual and auditory hallucinations for years. They would come & go, and they were primarily dead relatives who came to "set a spell". It never scared her. She also saw a squirrel running around on her fireplace mantle, and me digging around in her closet which is pretty hard to do 1800 miles away. She has seen a cat that barked and a dog that meowed, stairs coming out of a hole in the ceiling. Men with red eyes looking in the window at night. My dad in a white truck doing doughnuts in her front yard.
We will never know if there was one cause to pinpoint for her hallucinations. It could have been different things over time, or the combination of factors.
The important thing is that mom is safe from herself, the world, clean, fed, and gets her medications on time every day.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
With my Mom, I found out there was absolutely nothing I could do to alter her reality. Even if changed for a moment, she'd soon return to speaking or looking for her Mom and Sister who died 40 and 3 years before.
Yes, check into Meds and yes, whenever my Mom experienced a urinary tract infection it added to her speaking with those who have already gone on. Nonetheless, her 'reality' would not be altered by true reality. So the best thing for me, and I suggest everyone, is after issues of health and safety have been addressed - a person with Alzheimer's lives and breathes not by intellect or reason, but by emotions.
Therefore, keep their emotional content filled to the brim with positive things - especially when their perception of reality isn't what it might be. Even if that means going along with their conversations, etc. because most likely her 'reality' will to some degree change quite soon, anyway. (My Mom once believed she was pregnant - I was taking her to the hospital for a checkup and what else do you do when you are a woman going to the hospital??? Give birth.)
Go with the flow. You'll then discover a growing peace between all concerned.
My best to you...
V
Unfortunately, my mom's hallucinations have always been of the more upsetting type. Strange people in the house, police coming, etc. Once early on when she was having them a lot, she told us that a nurse came to the house and took her blood pressure and another person was with her. We thought it was another hallucination until she found the business card they left! Turns out someone called and reported us to the area dept on aging. It's been more than 18 months - never did find out who it was.
philipseth - last time I was in the hospital, instead of a cup, they had a container that they put on the toilet under the lid. Basically is a shallow bowl and catches everything. If you had one of these, your mom could go to the bathroom in private and you could then pour the sample into a cup.
Your mom's dr office also might help, but then you have to be there until she needs to go. Good luck!
Her mother died in 1975 or so but she talks quite openly about seeing, hugging, and talking to her. She asks my mother to call her parents and tell them she won't be home at night when she goes to bed. She thinks her mother is storing furniture for her. She tells us of the hugs she got from mama last night. There are any number of stories that she tells us about her parents or siblings that just don't happen in our reality. Grandma was one of 10 children all but her and one sister have all passed. Some days she knows this, some days she speaks of them in present tense.
In the beginning my mother tried to "ground her" in our present reality by telling her the truth of who was still here and who had passed away. Grandma grieved each time she was told the facts and it became obvious that it was needless, repetative suffering.
We now just go with whatever she says. Your mama is alive? Ok that's wonderful. No we can't go see her today, maybe soon though.
It was strange and uncomfortable to go with this flow at the beginning. But it sure beats hours and hours of uncomfortable crying and sadness.
Hugs...
HB
People with dementia are often confused, and her talking to the dead seems like a wish to travel back in time to a place where feels safe, surrounded by people she once knew. The confusion and moments of "normalcy" are all part of the disease process.
Hallucinations, on the other hand, might be a severe side effect of Zoloft, in which case I urge you to seek medical care immediately. 25 mg. might be too much.
Always at your service,
-- ED
i guess it depends on your beliefs-
i believe that just because someone has passed on
from this life-doesnt always mean they are totally gone-
have any of u ever felt or heard from someone u were close to
after they died?
i believe my grandparents,with whom i was very close to,
do come around-i cant see them, but i can smell them, and hear them-on some level- i guess some of u will think that is crazy-
but it is what i have experienced,and who is to say what is real and what is not?
regardless, it helps me, and that is what is important.
back to your question, my dad passed 6 yrs ago, and
a few months ago, mom started asking about him.
he is very sick right?she would ask.
he is suffering and in a lot of pain?
he cant visit me can he-
where is he?
i told her , where he is now, he cant come to visit her,
but that he wasnt far away- and even if she didnt see him,she felt him. he was with her inher heart-
who is to say that just because we cant see who they see-
that they are malfunctioning---
its connecting to people that they spent so much of this life with.
unless it is someone or something that is causing fear or anger or violent behavior, then what is the harm?
we can still learn so much from our parents, if we just allow ourselves to.
after all their perception is their reality as is ours-
While I agree that it is important to check for things like UTIs, it is also common in dementia to more lucid periods alternating with more confused ones. In nursing homes, Alzheimer's patients are often seen carrying on complete conversations with a person in a mirror.
That was very new for me...their reality is their truth.
i cut wood and i burn wood , so when i get old i ll prob be telling my kids we need wood !! lol
yes thier reality is the truth ,
If your mom has not been seen by a dementia specialist, they will know more than a regular family doctor, and can talk to you about other options, and what they will try next if this current thing isn't working. Sometimes medication is the right answer, sometimes not.
My mother had visual and auditory hallucinations for years. They would come & go, and they were primarily dead relatives who came to "set a spell". It never scared her. She also saw a squirrel running around on her fireplace mantle, and me digging around in her closet which is pretty hard to do 1800 miles away. She has seen a cat that barked and a dog that meowed, stairs coming out of a hole in the ceiling. Men with red eyes looking in the window at night. My dad in a white truck doing doughnuts in her front yard.
We will never know if there was one cause to pinpoint for her hallucinations. It could have been different things over time, or the combination of factors.
The important thing is that mom is safe from herself, the world, clean, fed, and gets her medications on time every day.