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How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
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Hospice has a criteria. If they have evaluated and admitted him, they must feel he needs them. Medicare pays for it so its not costing Dad anything. And wife will get an aide and supplies. Hospice will discharge him if he continues to show improvement.
I really don't see how calling in Hospice means she isn't giving good care. And no, nothing you can do if she is POA short of getting guardianship. And if Dad is competent, that won't happen.
Your profile states that your father is 87 years old and has heart disease. When you say that he states he is 'feeling better and continuing to improve' what has happened recently for him to improve on?
What in your view would good care look like? You say, in addition, that you are concerned that the wife may not be making the best decisions for him. What's the difference in opinion?
Your best recourse is first of all to get a clear picture of your father's true state of health. For all sorts of reasons - that he may not want to worry you, that he is ill and not up to processing detailed medical information, that he'd rather not be told all the depressing details, that he doesn't much care who's looking after him as long as they make him comfortable and don't otherwise bother him - your father may not be your best source of information.
I hardly like to ask, but are you on reasonably good terms with his wife, usually?
The concern comes from his wife saying she was not going to give him his medicine which immediately threw up a red flag as to her mental ability to our idea him the Best care,
Why would you consider hospice as not being good care? Can you give more information please? Have you spoken to anyone from the hospice organization that he is using? Address any concerns about your dad with his nurses or social worker.
My brother received excellent care from hospice. The nurses were knowledgeable and compassionate. The social worker was terrific. There is clergy available for patients who desire spiritual comfort.
I didn’t mean not to understand it be grateful for hospice. The concern is his wife decision to not give him his medicines Snd not inform my sister and me if this decision.
Is your father capable of participating in hospice evaluation? They include the entire family usually. I would assume that your father's wife, of all people, has been made aware of his wishes? Have they done wills and provided for each other to take on the POA wishes of the spouse involved in needing care. Hospice IS good care, in fact the epitome of compassionate and gentle caring in the end stages of life. You do not mention your father's wishes. You don't mention your father's condition. You don't mention if your MIL/Stepmother is POA for your father. I wish we knew more, but given what you have told us I think that you should trust Hospice to come in and make an evaluation. I very much hope you will support your MIL and thus be included in care of your Dad. Wishing you good luck in this difficult time.
On the face of it, it seems a bit of a leap to go from the wife's saying she isn't going to give her husband prescribed medicine to concluding that she isn't mentally capable of giving him the best care.
What did she say about her reasons for not wanting to give him the meds? - and do you know enough about his conditions and treatment to assess whether or not she might be right?
I have had a very, very long day so forgive me if I sound curt.
I asked: what reasons did your father's wife give for not wanting to give him the medications?
And you answer (I have deduced what you meant to type) that the doctor - what doctor? - said - to whom, and when, and in what circumstances? - that once he got over this current issue - what current issue? - he had many good years to go.
It seems that there have been developments since this doctor said something optimistic to somebody about something. How current is your information?
The doctor advised this less than a week ago. Dad’s discharge instructions were to take the medicines prescribed and to follow-up with him in 2-weeks. sooner if he started to feel worse. I’ve always had a good relationship with his wife, taken trips, just had them up to see my new house about 6-weeks ago. That isn’t to say I haven’t had some concerns about her over the last 30+ years. When she told his brother that she was stopping his medicines that caused the concern that he was receiving the best care. We don’t agree hospice is yet the answer but that he should be under medical care. After a couple of visits to see them we (sister) noticed that he had bad days when they weren’t seen by anyone for a few days but when hospice was there and sister was checking in daily he was much better. His wife began to make attempts to block my sister from seeing him although she is employed at the independent living facility that they live in.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I really don't see how calling in Hospice means she isn't giving good care. And no, nothing you can do if she is POA short of getting guardianship. And if Dad is competent, that won't happen.
Your profile states that your father is 87 years old and has heart disease. When you say that he states he is 'feeling better and continuing to improve' what has happened recently for him to improve on?
What in your view would good care look like? You say, in addition, that you are concerned that the wife may not be making the best decisions for him. What's the difference in opinion?
Your best recourse is first of all to get a clear picture of your father's true state of health. For all sorts of reasons - that he may not want to worry you, that he is ill and not up to processing detailed medical information, that he'd rather not be told all the depressing details, that he doesn't much care who's looking after him as long as they make him comfortable and don't otherwise bother him - your father may not be your best source of information.
I hardly like to ask, but are you on reasonably good terms with his wife, usually?
My brother received excellent care from hospice. The nurses were knowledgeable and compassionate. The social worker was terrific. There is clergy available for patients who desire spiritual comfort.
You do not mention your father's wishes. You don't mention your father's condition. You don't mention if your MIL/Stepmother is POA for your father. I wish we knew more, but given what you have told us I think that you should trust Hospice to come in and make an evaluation. I very much hope you will support your MIL and thus be included in care of your Dad. Wishing you good luck in this difficult time.
What did she say about her reasons for not wanting to give him the meds? - and do you know enough about his conditions and treatment to assess whether or not she might be right?
I asked: what reasons did your father's wife give for not wanting to give him the medications?
And you answer (I have deduced what you meant to type) that the doctor - what doctor? - said - to whom, and when, and in what circumstances? - that once he got over this current issue - what current issue? - he had many good years to go.
It seems that there have been developments since this doctor said something optimistic to somebody about something. How current is your information?