How many of you are still being denied visitation at your loved one's LTC?

Question

How many of you are still being denied visitation at your loved one's LTC?

Follow

Share

My state (NC) started allowing limited outdoor visitation on September 5. Mom's LTC didn't schedule any visits until September 17. I was given a slot on Sept. 18, which they canceled due to bad weather, and was rescheduled for Sept. 24. Just prior to the 24th, they reported a positive test result from an asymptomatic staff member, so I was re-rescheduled for Oct. 8. Then I got a call saying that they had miscalculated the waiting period, so the visit was moved to the 10th.

A few days later, they reported another positive case (again, a staff member and again asymptomatic) so my visit was re-re-rescheduled to Oct. 17. And yesterday, I got notification of yet another asymptomatic positive test from a staff member who was never in contact with the residents. I'm now waiting for the re-re-re-rescheduling call on that one.

Is anyone else out there experiencing a similar problem? I'm starting to lose hope. It seems awfully strange that the facility went without a single positive test until the visitation restrictions were lifted. And while it's good to know that none of the residents have tested positive, it's also strange that all of the staff cases have been asymptomatic. Intellectually, I realize that this can be a series of remarkable coincidences, but on the other hand, I'm emotionally fragile enough now to begin to wonder if they're getting false positives, or are just plain giving us the runaround.

Coronavirus Senior Housing Skilled Nursing Facility

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

45 Answers

Most
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First

1 2

Contact your legislators and point to MN, where they passed legislation making it possible for people to become authorized as "essential caregivers" by facilities and who can be allowed inside no matter what. They passed this in June. Keep up the political pressure as much as possible.

Helpful Answer (5)

Report

Thank you for the heads-up on that. I located the MN guidance on Essential Caregivers and will forward it along to my state representative and senator, though I'm not optimistic about any action. My previous emails to them have gone unanswered, and even though my county Board of Commissioners wrote to them on my behalf, their letter went unacknowledged as well.

I did note that this is a voluntary program for MN facilities... and even if the NC General Assembly proposes such legislation, they face an uphill battle because the governor is of the opposing political party and will most likely veto it, as his plan for reopening (currently in Phase 3) still imposes significant restrictions on visitation. The LTC has advised me that they follow both CMS guidance and the state mandates, adhering to that which is most restrictive.

It's frustrating, to say the least. But I'll give it a shot.

(2)

Report

Facilities across the USA each have their own rules. Check on the rules in place in your own. I think rules are becoming more and more lax just when the Virus, which has never left us nor been conquered by us, is ready again to surge. There are so many repercussions on family and on seniors that places are becoming desperate to allow visits. American "Frontier Mentaliry" is an actual thing". We honor more the individual's choice than the "good of all" and are impatient to get on over the next mountain range. Can work in our favor; can work against us. What an awful dilemma we would be in. My bro was in ALF in So. Cal. I think now that I am just coming to the time I could have visited with him, had he lived; yet here is that time, and I could not have because So. Cal still is boiling hot, and because his own facility, FREE of Covid throughout, remains quite on lockdown.

Helpful Answer (0)

Report

Dear "PeeWee57,"

When I read through your post, I was starting to wonder too if you were getting the runaround. But, maybe with the fall and flu season upon us the staff members are just now starting to get sick especially if your state's school season is back in session and they have children.

We live in the desert Southwest and my mom's new facility had been very fortunate not to get their first case until mid-summer with both a memory care resident (where my mom resides) as well as a staff member. Unfortunately, the resident did pass away and they have had about three more staff members test positive since then. My first outdoor visit was September 7th and I had another one the following Saturday.

I know how frustrated this must be for you and that it's wreaking havoc on your emotions being as fragile as they are. Prior to our facility allowing the outdoor visits, each time a staff member tested positive the residents themselves were being confined to their apartments therefore not allowing dining and activities amongst the residents. I just received an update letter from the Director that they are continuing outdoor visits and have given us the procedure that would need to be followed to do an indoor visit which they hope to be implementing soon. I'm still not allowed into my mom's apartment. In our case, the facility Director has been very forthcoming about all that is taking place and the communication by emails has been great.

As I'm sure the other people have commented, things will vary so much from state-to-state and facility-to-facility. If you do not feel comfortable with what the facility is telling you, maybe you should talk with your city's Ombudsman and ask for either their direction or intervention on your behalf. I know I did that with issues at my mom's previous ALF when they were negligent in allowing my mom to be near death and not telling me until it was almost too late and when I wasn't allowed to get movers in there to get all her things.

It's very hard to keep getting your hopes up only to be let down time and time again. I sure hope you can get some more concrete answers, that you will be able to visit your loved one soon and you can move forward in a more peaceful manner.

Helpful Answer (1)

Report

To amplify just a bit on this VERY REASONABLE COMMENT from NobodyGetsIt, all of us trying to walk the very narrow path of visiting and cheering for and supporting our LOs AND their caregivers BUT FACT IS- THE VIRUS ALWAYS WINS.

The virus doesn’t care how frustrated and frantic and lonely and overwhelmed we may be, if someone with risk factors is exposed, the odds are that they WILL get sick.

I have NO IDEA how my fragile, hypertensive, 91 year old LO survived. By all indicators, she SHOULDN’T HAVE. But she IS STILL HERE, when others in her facility didn’t get through it as well as she did.

Her caregivers knew what needed to be done, but because of prevailing conditions in our area, an asymptomatic carrier, who was not tested, brought the virus in. I think this is why the rules are what they are.

I pray EVERY DAY for ALL of our victims. But I also see bare faces and huddles of people all the time, EVEN ON THE RESIDENCE PATIO WHERE OUR OUTDOOR VISITS ARE HELD.

In our situation, mixed messaging is DEADLY. I’ve come to the point at which I want her PROTECTED, and if I can see her safely, I’m all for it. But re-exposure to the virus? Hasn’t she suffered enough already?

Darn straight I’m emotional about this. Can’t help it. She and I NEED each other, but why did it all have to happen in the first place?

(3)

Report

See 1 more reply

Runaround; it IS political - trust your gut.

Helpful Answer (2)

Report

We’ve had 5-6 reasonably successful visits outside, socially distanced, masked, but my LO (and I) hate being cold, so as the north east gets colder, the outdoor visits lose their momentum.

My LO RECOVERED from 3 weeks of Covid, and was shedding the virus for three months after becoming symptom free. The care she received in her MC was as nearly heroic as anything could have been. Her care staff had very little by way of supplies, and no testing in house, at the beginning of the pandemic.

If you hear otherwise, you’re either not in a hot spot OR someone is embroidering the truth.

Helpful Answer (4)

Report

PeeWee, my husband, who is a medic, says have the police do a welfare check with you on your mom.

Helpful Answer (5)

Report

There's a lot going on right now. That's very interesting about all of those rescheduled dates that peewee is being informed of. I'd be wondering if something fishy was going on or if the facility just plain has bad communication within its hierarchy and the implementation is therefore poor. I do have to say that at least they are contacting you prior to your visit date(s). So many organizations would just let you show up and then not let you visit - no regard for people's time/energy. Our area opened for outdoor visits several weeks ago - one person at a time with distancing and by appointment. Now, it's the same format but no weekend appointments and no evenings. I think the latest visit is at 2:30 or 3 PM. This drastically cuts back potential visitors who can't get there during those times and drastically cuts back the number of available slots, but yet the facility can SAY they are allowing visits. Not sure about the intent there, but it seems like they are wanting to say they offer it, but won't have to actually do it (or only to a limited extent). Some high-quality communication from upper management would help a lot and maybe we could understand better and not be wondering.

Helpful Answer (3)

Report

I’m in NC and was wondering what was going on too for a long while, but, I get word today that I can go tomorrow! Praying the weather holds. I’ll stand outside the window at the MC.

Helpful Answer (2)

Report

"Sunnygirl,"

I sure hope the weather is good for your visit and that all goes well for you!

(2)

Report

I think the facilities went without 'cases' of COVID b/c they weren't TESTING. Now that they're testing residents and employees, of course they're going to see 'cases' which doesn't mean the person is 'sick', just that they tested positive which could easily be a FALSE positive. The more they test, the more 'cases' they find, that's what's happening here in my mother's ALF too. Nobody is 'sick', just testing positive, which to me means FALSE positives! Panic in the streets. More shut downs and more mass hysteria to deal with, which is getting ridiculous already.

My mother's ALF has been allowing window visits for months now; we go over every Sunday at 1 pm; she sits in the conference room at the window, the care giver calls ME on my cell phone, and we talk to her via the phone. She's literally 2 feet away from us, but the window separates us. They say they are going to start allowing indoor visits 'hopefully soon', but guess what? 2 more employees tested positive but are asymptomatic! More stalls, more delays, more nonsense. But I'm ok with it b/c we do get to do the window visits which in a way are better b/c my mother is mostly deaf. So sitting 6 feet away from her with both of us wearing masks is likely to produce a scream fest with lots of frustration to deal with, and her understanding NONE of the conversation. Sigh.

I vote for false positives, too much testing, and the runaround, all combined with the CYA principle for facilities. While I DO understand their predicament, these elders NEED HUMAN TOUCH from their loved ones again. Period.

Helpful Answer (9)

Report

Thanks for bringing up the testing aspect. NC recently ramped up the testing, so that may account for the sudden rash of positives, whether accurate or false. But that brings us back to rather a gray area: Before the increase in testing, how many of the staff were walking around with asymptomatic cases but did not transmit the virus to the residents due to following PPE protocol to the letter? We'll never know.

I'm with you on the futility of window visits. With a mostly blind and deaf mother myself, it's hard to communicate over the phone. Worse still, the facility's windows are old and the seals have deteriorated, which has led to them being permanently foggy between the glass, making it more difficult for me to see Mom while rendering my shadow or outline barely discernible to her. And the windows haven't been cleaned on the outside in who knows when, so I have to bring a rag to clean off accumulated soil to see the little bit that I can. I also have to bring a camp chair and balance it on the river rocks that they have arranged along the foundation of the building, which can get pretty dicey when the rocks decide to shift under my chair.

And what's going to happen when winter arrives?

Your last paragraph sums things up pretty well. Thanks for responding.

(3)

Report

See 1 more reply

At my dad's assisted living facility the visitation policy is determined in coordination with the Public Health Department. Currently they remain limited to outside, more than 6 feet apart, 1 resident at a time with no more than 2 visitors, all wearing masks AND if there is any Covid in the facility they will be required by the health department to drop back to no visits for a period of time. So, unfortunately you experience seems right in line with what we will experience if any Covid gets introduced into the facility. This facility has had only 2 cases of Covid many, many months ago and this is still the policy because of the Covid that is still circulating in the local area. Is it disappointing? yes. Is it necessary? yes but I strongly support these hard decisions if it keeps the residents and staff safe.

Helpful Answer (2)

Report

It has been frustrating. Mom was hospitalized in early March and then to rehab, nursing home, now she is in a wonderful Memory Care facility. We had been able to do window visits and talk on a phone when someone was available to help her, smartphones are confusing for her.

After she was moved from rehabilitation to nursing care it became much more difficult and we couldn’t use a phone and could barely hear through the window but they were battling an outbreak and being very careful. I kept checking on her so the staff knew we were keeping a eye on her.

At her new home they have been very strict because Memory Care residents have not been isolated or required to wear masks. We have been able, in Ohio, to do outside visits with her inside at a screen door and us outside on the porch. Each resident gets one 30 minute visit a week, 2 people only. We are allowed to window visit but I hate to pester the staff to arrange it.

Next week we start inside visits but everyone has to wear a mask, sit 6’ apart, etc. The only good thing is Mom has such a bad memory that she doesn’t really know it’s been a week since she last saw us.

So stick with it, the rules seem to change day to day and the staff is doing the best they can with all the added restrictions and procedures.

Helpful Answer (1)

Report

Sis in nursing home. Outside visits were allowed a couple months ago-huge plastic screen that rattles like mad when the breeze blows, landscaper mowing noise, cars driving by, nearly impossible to hear sis and her soft voice now. they had some staff cases but did not shut down my sister area/visits. But last week had 2 new staff cases, another one this week= FOUR MORE WEEKS of misery for sis and myself. Sis is in her room by herself, she would not be able to turn on the TV or work the phone by herself. Recently sis has not been clean, her nails were nasty with gunk, I could see gunk stuck in her teeth. No one returns my calls about what is going on-been told sis is loosing weight and BP is going up-geee i wonder why people.

Helpful Answer (9)

Report

I too had concerns about my LO's diminishing cleanliness which I witnessed during a window visit. LO used to be so scrupulous about hair, fingernails,etc. Those window visits were a complete failure-LO unable to focus on visit due to background noise. Thank goodness for our daily Facetime/Skype/Zoom calls ! My LO holds the nursing home's IPad close enough to see my face and "talking mouth". It's not the same as a hug but still some "closeness" is maintained. I had LO move the IPad 360degrees around to see body, the room, & saw those toenails, stained clothes, etc. Made me sad & mad. I know the staff is busy but I saw lack of concern here.

Based on this view (which i would've seen if I visited in person) I asked for a visit from the facility podiatrist & let them know about the dirty clothes. Technology has definitely helped improve our visits; a blessing really.

(3)

Report

See 1 more reply

Since I'm in California and the governor here is constantly moving the goalposts, I've been able to "see" my mother exactly once since March -- outside from eight feet away, gloved (why??), masked, and wearing goggles in 95° heat. It was a fiasco, because my mother is nearly blind and deaf as a post. She can't see anyone from that distance, and she couldn't understand me through a mask. I left in tears after five minutes because she closed her eyes which is her signal that she's just done.

I've gone back to window visits, because I can talk to her on the phone and don't have to wear a mask. It frustrates me to no end, though, as a caregiver is in there with her leaning close to tell her something so she can hear, patting her on the arm, and doing everything I should be able to do for her. They aren't living in bubble where they can't catch Covid anymore than I am, and the caregivers brought Covid in there in the first place. They had an outbreak, but it was over in six weeks.

That was in June and July, so why are they still locked down like Fort Knox? I should be able to see my mother!

Helpful Answer (10)

Report

They have to "keep the elderly population safe", so that the demonstrations can go on forever! I've just had it with all those excuses!

(2)

Report

My mother’s facility has worked very hard to keep the residents and staff safe. They offer face time visits, offer to help with phone calls, window visits. They have just started porch visits. These facilities are under such pressure. They are blamed when residents and staff get sick, and they are blamed for keeping residents “prisoners” when they put in restrictions so people don’t get sick. They can’t win. All I know is that I am grateful that my mother’s facility has been able to keep the facility symptom free for this entire time. And the staff can feel safer going to work. If there was no staff my mother wouldn’t be able to have the care she needs that I can’t provide to her.

Helpful Answer (9)

Report

You are so right. My mother chafed at the restrictions initially (although she is practically a recluse and hates socializing!), but now seems to have accepted the situation. As she and I have always had a difficult relationship (she's a narcissist who makes no efforts for herself), not being allowed into the building and expected to run errands and do chores is in fact a blessing for us. We have Mum round once a week to our house, which seems to be nicer for all of us. I am so grateful to her weekly carer, who has kept Mum going through lockdown.

But I appreciate that many people really miss seeing their relative and those who don't have family to take them out must be suffering horribly - almost as much, though in a different way, as if they caught the virus, maybe...?

(1)

Report

See 1 more reply

Where I am from, we get to do outdoor visits. Wearing masks and sitting 6 feet apart.

Helpful Answer (4)

Report

My mom is in Memory Care. They have plexiglass separated masked indoor visits. She has had 2, with other family members, both have been failures. She doesnt understand, the distance and masks make communication difficult and the disruption of her usual schedule....
They allow more relaxed visits outside for the regular assisited living/independent living people.
They are still dragging their feet "preparing " for allowing essential caregivers.
Now, I am careful and I realize they cant depend on everyone to do the same. Other family members may have jobs where they are exposed potentially or kids in school. And god knows, I dont want my mom to be patient zero in an outbreak at the facility.
But there is a loophole, if they have an essential appointment you can take them with you. I had needed to get my mom set up with a local PCP and it was time for yearly physical, get prescriptions. So I took her to the doctor. She got her flu shot and did bloodwork. Then, since she missed lunch, we sat together in my car at Sonic and had a hamburger and conversation. All of which they were ok with.
Now this was legit and necessary.
But I wonder how long before people are saying mom has an "appointment " just to have a visit. At least at the facility they'd have more control,; they need to figure it out.

Now, Im extremely happy about this next part. I went to the Director, ready to plead my case to have a small(<10 people), masked, outdoor gathering at the facility for my Mom's 90th birthday later this month. And she said, how about this idea( and my heart sank) " Why dont you just take your Mom to your house for the party? We will just call it "essential " !!!!!!! Just mask/hand sanitize/social dist.
So party is on! I hope my mom has a good day.
Her mental decline over the past year has been striking, as has her balance and now some incontinence issues. So this permisssion is a blessing since Im dont believe it will be able to do for much longer.

Helpful Answer (2)

Report

My wife died on May 20th because as you know the assisted living facility were not able to follow protocol and very little PPE and governor Cuomo sent positive patients from Hospital into these nursing home facilities with very little protection for staff and patients.
In hindsight I should her taken her out if I was told the covid 19 infection rate at the time was very high. Which these nursing facility were not truthful about how many patients were infected. After 8000 poor people have died in these homes they are being forced to be transparent on covid 19 positive patients. Take her home for now and get private nursing help from a very good nursing agency

(0)

Report

See 2 more replies

Update: I got my visit at MC today. It was in front of a very large picture window and the sound was poor, but I don’t think it mattered. My LO is very severe and not really able to focus on anything. Staff tried, but, she’s too out of it, She can’t hold her head up. She’s not sedated...just sleepy and sort of in a semi vegetative state, It was still good to see her though. You never know when it will be the last time.

Helpful Answer (6)

Report

No sign of opening LTC in Kansas. Mom now has advanced Alzheimer's and doesn't know me. It's horrible. She's lonely and thinks she's been forgotten.

Helpful Answer (5)

Report

I am so sorry to hear that... prayers for you and your mom. It IS horrible.

(2)

Report

See 1 more reply

I have not seen my mother since February. I’m constantly being told I cannot enter my mom’s rehab center due to Covid. First there are no cases, then cases. Can’t anyone help us??

Helpful Answer (1)

Report

I don’t even know whom to ask for help. The only thing any residential site can do if a case is transmitted, is lockdown, isolate, and disinfect.

Without a strong, clear cut, well managed top to bottom management system, it appears to me this will co to us to go on and on and on.

Medical experts have told us what we should have done and what we should be doing now. I follow CDC guidelines meticulously.

As of now, where I am, the virus always wins. And people who are unwilling to do what might help, don’t care whether we’re grieving or not.

I am so hoping that you can soon embrace your mom. I pray everyday for those of us living this day to day.

(2)

Report

See 1 more reply

The 'cure' is worse than the pandemic.

Helpful Answer (12)

Report

Perhaps where you are, but where I am, this is MOST CERTAINLY NOT THE CASE.

(2)

Report

I live in the state of Michigan and I’m still not allowed visitation inside the building. For awhile we were able to visit on the patio but that was very short because it is too cold for my mom to set outside. I realize they are trying to keep her safe but I believe she is dying from the isolation. I don’t know why I can’t mask up, gown up and wear gloves to visit with her. She is 93 years old, is hard of hearing and has dementia. I miss her very much😢

Helpful Answer (2)

Report

You could, but it's all political and the reasons we're being given not only don't always make sense (or work), but aren't the real ones anyway. More and more doctors and other healthcare workers are realizing this and signing onto opposing the lockdowns, masks, and "social distancing".

(2)

Report

Yes, same here. I was blessed to finally see my mother for 20 minutes, 7-8 feet apart, outside on a patio, masked. Allowed once a week at most, to allow times for other families. We were given 3 morning time slots to choose from. Taking off from work, I saw mom, with dementia, wheelchair and oxygen ( survived covid19). She was busy finally looking at the trees and plants. I guess so, she has been in her room with 2 roommates for months, no activities...I was just another masked person with a muffled voice. She looked at me , but shortly, and back to the trees.
Staff and residents continue to test positive, so no more visits.
I used to visit almost every day, feeding her a banana, homemade fruit juice mix and doing her hair, nails, applying good soothing oatmeal/ coconut lotion on skin, making her smile.
It's frustrating and sad. Staff bringing covid into the building, and spreading it.
Another nursing home a few miles away had 2 cases of covid this year, and families have been able to visit loved ones inside. They get activities.
Lets all stay in touch. Not alone in this. I dont know other families with loved ones in the building to chat with..., so I feel alone.

Helpful Answer (3)

Report

We get to visit my mom inside today for 1/2 hour. Had to schedule last week..they have limited slots available. We can visit 2 times a week / max 2 people.. I’m not sure if it’s in her room or a common area. This will be the first time we will be going into the facility. My mom moved there in June and we have never been inside!

Helpful Answer (0)

Report

At my dad's skilled nursing facility, there are no in-person visits, only window visits. But I understand that they are doing scheduled outside visits at the assisted living where he used to live. I live in Oregon.

Helpful Answer (1)

Report

My wife died on May 20th because as you know the assisted living facility were not able to follow protocol and very little PPE and governor Cuomo sent positive patients from Hospital into these nursing home facilities with very little protection for staff and patients.
In hindsight I should her taken her out if I was told the covid 19 infection rate at the time was very high. Which these nursing facility were not truthful about how many patients were infected. After 8000 poor people have died in these homes they are being forced to be transparent on covid 19 positive patients. Take her home for now and get private nursing help from a very good nursing agency

(0)

Report

MC facility cleaned 2 small front rooms. I. Scheduled a Sunday visit for 20 minutes
LO in memory care and was in a good mood. It made my day to see a smile instead of complaints. Only one visitor. Which Is good. masks required and 6 feet apart. Best idea yet

Helpful Answer (3)

Report

We are in New York and there haven't been any visitors allowed at my Mom's SNF since the shutdown in March. There have been changing rules (coming from the State) which started as - you can open after 28 days if there are no positive tests for staff or residents. So, each time someone would test positive, another 28 days was added. After getting a lot of flak about that, the State changed it to 14 days. At the same time, all staff were required to be tested once a week and that's when the positive tests started showing up. Most of the staff were asymptomatic so it wouldn't have been detected without the test. While I'm sad that I can't visit inside, I'm glad these tests are being done because it is the only way of knowing if there's someone who could be spreading the virus without realizing it.

After a number of weeks with staff testing positive, a number of the residents also started testing positive. We were so sad to hear that three of them ended up dying. Since the SNF was not allowing anyone new to be admitted to the facility, these residents got the virus from staff who were asymptomatic - even when being tested. So far we've been lucky that Mom's wing has been spared.

I really wish I could see Mom more than just at her window but, at the same time, I would never want that in lieu of keeping her safe. A few weeks ago, the facility was declared COVID free and I was fully expecting a notice that I could visit. But, last week another staff person tested positive so it's another 14 days......Sigh....

Helpful Answer (0)

Report

My wife died on May 20th because as you know the assisted living facility were not able to follow protocol and very little PPE and governor Cuomo sent positive patients from Hospital into these nursing home facilities with very little protection for staff and patients.
In hindsight I should her taken her out if I was told the covid 19 infection rate at the time was very high. Which these nursing facility were not truthful about how many patients were infected. After 8000 poor people have died in these homes they are being forced to be transparent on covid 19 positive patients. Take her home for now and get private nursing help from a very good nursing agency.

(1)

Report

My dad passed suddenly last month at his AL. He had been allowed out with me to go visit my mom through the window at her SN (thank goodness the day before I actually hugged my dad! I feel so much for those whose LOs have passed without this contact prior). When my dad passed I had to tell my mom through the window, but they did bend the rules - brought her outside in her wheelchair so we could hug her. At least they got to see each other two days before, but they hadn't held each other's hand or hugged for 7 months.

We still only have window visits with my mom and she is declining, especially because she sits in her room all day now. No activities, and she is also depressed because she hasn't been able to get her hair cut in 7 months. I don't understand why she can't see the beauty shop in her SN to cut her hair! All her adult life she has had a a very short haircut and now it's past her shoulders. I can tell it bothers her. She is declining so much she doesn't even want to read, something she's always enjoyed.

We've got to do something to get our LOs back to some semblance of normal. Why can't social distancing take place and have a musician even come in to play music? And I think the "Essential Caregiver" idea should be implemented.

Hugs to all of you going through this with your LOs.

Helpful Answer (5)

Report

Dear "Pstracy,"

I am so so sorry about your dad suddenly passing away last month at his ALF. I'm glad you were able to hug your dad. It breaks my heart as I know it has yours that you had to tell your mom through her window. Thankfully, her SNF did bend the rules and brought her outside so you and your dad were able to hug her one last time after not being able to for 7 months.

I feel for your mom - that she is declining as she just sits in her room all day. The lack of activities and not being able to go to the beauty shop is truly a shame. My mom is 95 with Alzheimer's and prior to COVID, I always made sure she had her hair done every other week and colored when it needed it. Now my mom's hair is 3/4 white which was a shock when I saw her. She needs a haircut too - the Activity Director offered but, my mom declined. Also, the director has two rescue dogs and just had a litter of Boston Terrier puppies a couple months ago which she brings to my mom and other residents. My mom used to enjoy reading as well but, doesn't as much anymore.

All I could do is go to Walmart and find a small radio player and had it set to her favorite classical music station. I also bought her a handheld poker game (she's played those for years), got her TV set up and bought some pretty pink artificial flowers. I bring her travel magazines occasionally to look at the pictures.

Just like you, my heart breaks for the families whose loved ones died without any physical touch and basically died alone.

I will be praying for your mom and you - I sure hope something can be done for her to lift her spirit.
God bless you both as you go through the grieving process and a hug to you too!

(1)

Report

See 1 more reply

My wife is in Post acute SNF LTC subsequent to a massive stroke five years ago. As of March 13 this year she was pleased in total lockdown here in California. since then I’ve made numerous request for even partial consideration allowing visitation. Al to no avail. I’m told it’s the state of California and CDC Mandate. I continue to fight City Hall.

Helpful Answer (0)

Report

New visitation guidelines were given by Centers of Medicare/Medicaid on September 17, 2020 It does say facilities must open up in-person visits both outdoor and indoor. However, the community must not have had COVID within 14 days for these visits to occur.

My concerns from your post
1. The communities are required to automatically notify families of active cases.
You should have been made aware of the staff testing positive, whether or not you planned a visit.
2. Even before this new guideline went into place communities were required to find a way for families to stay in contact with their loved ones. Many communities set up video conferencing such as Zoom or Ring Central calls so families and residents can connect.

Recommendations
1. Call the community and request a Zoom Call.
2. There is no reason you should not be able to do the "window visit" even with active Covid cases in the building.
3. Check the communities website and see if they are showing the COVID Positive results on the website. If the community is owned by a corporation it may be listed on that page.

If you cannot find any verification of the "COVID Positive" staff, I would call the long-term care Ombudsman office in your area and have them get involved.

I called a community last week and told them I was coming by to visit a client and they told me I was not allowed to visit due to COVID. I told them I knew that was not true that the guidelines had been updated on 09.17.2020 and they must allow visits, they were COVID free. I was then told that's true but we don't want you to come. I responded, that I did not care if they "wanted" me to come my client requested a visit and I intended to visit. At that point the did schedule a visit for me, they are are allowed to request that you schedule visits.

Helpful Answer (3)

Report

My concern is why would they not want you to come in?

(0)

Report

It's a very hard situation. I cannot fault the ALC for wanting to keep the patients/staff safe. However, my husband and I have a concern about my MIL's mental health due to being confined. She's getting worse. She calls all times of the middle of the night and says crazy things. And we are very concerned about what her apt looks like. She is a hoarder. We have not been able to get in and clean. We worry if she has space to walk around. The ALC does not have cleaning staff. MIL is responsible for her own cleaning. They serve her meals and hand out meds and do her laundry. And since we cannot get in, they bathe her twice a week.

Helpful Answer (0)

Report

1 2

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

How many of you are still being denied visitation at your loved one's LTC?

45 Answers

Recent Questions

Popular Questions

Related Questions