This one is detailed but I need some advice... I am my mother's only child and have been her DPOA for over 3 years now. She has dementia and is not incompetent at this time, vu land at my family members request, she now levees with her and I pay her for my mine care $3400 monthly ( which is by the way all she received monthly) my father died in Jean 2010, and my mother hadn't worked since 2001 so she has little assets. Long story short money that was saved for me, my mother and I agreed to use that now with him gone for us on our joint acct. We have always been close and always been a team. About half of the money was for me and the other was spent in Atty fees used to fight for the estate for my father, bankruptcy protection for foreclosure on their house (which she let go) as well as an assisted living facility that was about $1500 more than her monthly income. Needless to say, if we had known her condition would be the way it is now, back then, we would have made different choices. My family member is paid to care for her daily care and I have her on every other weekend with me and when needed. But now the family member has fraudulently gained access to our acct because they always suspected my mother had all this money and I was holding out, and now is trying to accuse me of depleting her money when it was commingled years ago and we never changed it. She wants to seek guardianship, and I do not want to have to seek an Atty to fight her, what should I do?
No one can obtain guardianship, however, if your mother is still competent to make her own decisions. Does her doctor think that she is incompetent? Probably more than one doctor would have to certify that she can no longer make decisions in her own behalf.
Once this family member realizes how much filing for guardianship is going to cost her and what her responsibilities will be if she gets it, she may change her mind. Also her attorney will explain to her that if the entire family is not agreed on who should be a guardian the judge can appoint an outsider, who would be paid for professional services (out of Mom's estate). This may change her tune.
If she really obtained access to the account fraudulently, you could report her to the police or APS. BUT ... is this person a good caregiver? Do you intend to allow her to continue to care for your mother? Then it might be best to simply open a new account, transfer all the money into that account, and close the one she obtained access to.
If this family member is trustworthy enough to continue to care for Mother, I hope you and she can mend your relationship without resorting to court.
I guess I'd start by talking to Mom's doctor(s) about the issue of her competency.
https://www.dads.state.tx.us/news_info/publications/brochures/pub395-guardianship.pdf
Simply being good at taking care of the person's physical needs in no way suggests to the court that the person will be good at managing money, the complicated matters of estate that will come up, or any other aspect of the business side of this. Texas calls it Guardian of the Estate. Other states call is Conservator.
Most states audit the Ward's accounts very closely, so if this family member thinks they're going to start writing themselves checks for the casino and steak dinners out of mom's account, they will find that fraud is treated harshly.