My father just died and my mom intends on having a memorial type service at Christmas at her home for immediate family. My brother and others are very inconsiderate and hurtful people and I have not seen them in years. They did not acknowledge my husband’s death 1.5 years ago. My son and I prefer not to attend. We don’t want to hurt my mom but could certainly honor my Dad, with my Mom in a different fashion, without the relatives. Is it wrong to not attend?
If you would prefer not to go, I’d suggest that you don’t make a big statement about it – tell M that you will try to come but you have an important appointment that you may not be able to alter. If you don’t make it, say that you will take M out to dinner yourself a week or so later.
Now that dad’s gone, it’s more advantageous for you two to be on civil terms when it comes to discussing moms needs going forward, such as who is tasked with poa.
I don’t know your family dynamic but just know that if you don’t go you may be putting your mom in an awkward position with other guests on a day that maybe already difficult for her.
If you do decide to go, stick like glue to your mom’s side; nobody is going to be awful to you when you’re holding hands with a grieving widow.
I’m sorry for your loss.
My condolences on the loss of your dad, and also on your husbands passing a year ago.
Very sorry about your dad.🙏
Do what you feel is right, and I'd wait until it gets closer to Christmas to decide, for sure. You May feel different
I didn’t speak to one of my siblings at either of my parent’s funerals . When the second parent died , I did not attend the after funeral , family meal get together .
You could go and not stay the whole time .