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You put your question under the Alzheimer's/dementia category. If the person has dementia, the time is now for a DNR imo. I prayed daily for my mother to die so she'd be out of her misery with dementia, and she lived to 95+. I thought that was a cruel punishment, personally. Her signed DNR was useless, however, because advanced dementia and CHF killed her.
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DeniseV Oct 3, 2024
My mom is 95.5 years old. Just moved her to memory care. She has a DNR but it's useless; she has asked so many times why can't someone help her die. It breaks my heart. I pray to God every night that he take her in his loving arms and give her the peace she's asking for. 😢
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Alva, my directives are in place. As I am reasonably healthy, I choose resuscitation at this point. My mother, when she reached age 90, decided on DNR. That was before she developed signs of dementia (and she lived to age 95 before she died of complications of dementia).

For me personally, if I were to develop a serious debilitating issue that I'm better off escaping before it becomes its worse (like ALS, Parkinson's or dementia in early stages when I could still sign such an order), I'd sign a DNR. I was just curious when others might think they'd do it.
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AlvaDeer Sep 25, 2024
You make all this clear in your Advance Directive now. Kaiser has a beautiful one designating what a quality life means to you, and when you would wish to not be resuscitated. So that you would designate that if you were ever diagnosed with any illness in which you had no ability to direct your care and were unable to make competent decisions for your own life you would not wish to live, nor to have heroic measures to prolong a lift of quanity of days without your version of quality. I did my own DNR at age 70. I already knew I had a good quality of life and wouldn't want to be BROUGHT BACK FROM THE DEAD under any circumstances were I to die. I was an RN. I have very little taste for old age and all its losses. I am more than ready to exit and have zero fear of death. But lots of fears of living on.
Most people do not want to live when their minds are no longer their own.
It's important to say THAT in your advance directive when your mind IS your own.
Most don't understand that you can write up any length of document to attach to your advance directive.
It isn't a money maker any more to keep you alive in hospital. With a good advance directive SCANNED INTO YOUR CHARTS you are protected from all of the what ifs. It it is just some simple pulled off the internet--not so much.
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It is up to the person him/herself to carry out an advance directive for themselves that is detailed in what wishes they have for their future. If they have not done this but DO have a POA or guardian, then that person can respond to any hospital admissions that the person doesn't wish resuscitation. This should all be discussed NOW with the person's doctor.

Generally when ambulances are called to a scene they legally MUST attempt reviving a person unless a POLST is hanging in their home (this is an MD paper done with patient/patient representative in the office, enumerating exactly what resuscitation measures may be done and may not be done).

My own personal decision now for my life is to not be resuscitated. What is YOURS and what measures have you taken to insure it is seen and acted on?

You are correct that in the elderly resuscitation is almost never successful, and as a retired RN I can assure you that your assessment that the ribs are often cracked is correct. I have heard them under my hands. Be comforted that the dead don't FEEL this discomfort, and few survive to worry about it later.

Decisions of this sort are plan-ahead. and in the hands of the person involved, or their agent (POA, guardian, next of kin.) and their doctor.
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swmckeown76 Oct 1, 2024
Never hurts to try.
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