My husband and I have been her POA for a few years now and have handled all her financial and medical needs. The last two months shes been asking to go over her monthly income and questioning why she needs to pay certain bills. She is denying having any when I go over them with her. Mom has parkinsons and has always lived with us and shared the bills with us. She doesn't remember this and claims she has a home in another state (one she sold 20 yrs ago). When I explain she sold that house 20 yrs ago she gets angry and sad and wants to go there because she knows she has a house and we are lying to her.
I've had her talk to longtime friends to confirm my information but she doesn't seem to care. Still thinks we are lying. What can I do? I feel like I'm doing something wrong when I know I'm not. I know I'm not dealing with someone who can be reasoned with but I don't know how to calm her down either.
Now answer to your question - They don't understand about money! Tried telling mom several times it's taking more than her income to pay her night caregiver! She doesn't want to understand that her savings is getting low and I'm paying some of her bills myself! My resolution - don't discuss money with them! They don't want to understand it so I quit discussing finances period! Like talking to a 5 year old!
HOWEVER, keep in mind that this can be very uncomfortable territory for you. I know it is for me. I use a 'say as little as possible' approach. When Dad gets on a topic where his thinking and reality are far apart, I try to be vaguely agreeable. I don't ever want to slip into actively making up elaborate lies to match his thinking. I find that just avoiding disagreement, rather than out-and-out lying, is important for me in retaining my respect for him as my father.
I have noticed that over the last year, she doesn't ask as many questions. I guess it's because she doesn't know she has a car, a house or, a bank account.
There's no One there to teach You how to react when Your World comes crashing down around Your feet. I began to understand that Mother wasn't able to figure
things out, or reason therefore confusion set in. Instead of contesting what Mum
had said, I began to enter Her World, and I noticed a big change immediately. Mum became more content, much happier and so did I. Now I tell Mum exactly
what She would like to hear, as opposed to the way it might be. Why bother, or
upset the Crater. Keep Her happy and content.