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Long Term Care insurance too expensive. What is the answer?

Carla, absolutely no, you should not let your son lose your home.

Could you please explain, why you think that your son could be doing this?

No one can make someone, ruin them financially unless you are letting them do it

Please explain better, so we can help you.
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MiaMoor Oct 1, 2024
I think the LO means how can the home be kept for her son, rather than it needing to be sold for her care if she needed to go into a care home, later in life. (Not that her son is doing something wrong to lose the home.)
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You will have to put your house in a trust that an elder law attorney can help you with to "keep from losing it."
But in all honesty, if needed your house should be sold and the proceeds go to any future care you may need before you have to go on Medicaid.
Your assets should go to you and your care, before they go to anyone else, and before you ask the government to pay for your care.
That is only fair and right.
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BurntCaregiver Sep 29, 2024
@funkygrandma

I beg to differ. I don't think it's 'only right' that nursing homes, memory care, and AL can get away with fleecing every cent a person ever had over a lifetime of work.

Even in the most expensive facilities cut corners left and right. These places are for-profit businesses. Families can hire a part-time private aide to provide extra care in a facility and they don't have to lose everything.

Each generation is supposed to be a little better off than the one before it. This was so because of inheritance. People owned an asset and left it for their kids. So maybe they bought a home or sent their kids to college because of it. A little better off than the generation before.

Now it's the care industry burns it all within a year or two and the person ends up on Medicaid anyway. Most care facilities will kick a person out if they outlive their assets. Then they go to a crappy Medicaid facility anyway.
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If you are concerned about his inheritance now is the time to consult with a certified financial planner and an elder law attorney.
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I am going to ask what you mean by "nursing home"
Are you talking about Skilled Nursing Facility where you have a chronic medical condition that requires Skilled Nursing or are you using the term "nursing home" to lump in Assisted Living, Memory Care?

I am guessing that you want to "protect" your house and possibly any assets you have from being used for your care.
There are Trusts you can set up. For those you would need to see an Elder Care Attorney or one that deals with Trusts and Estate Planning.
Many of the Trusts that might "protect" your assets require you to place assets in a Trust that is not NOT controlled by you. An "Irrevocable trust". With this you will give up control over your financial affairs.

Now I have to ask you a question.
IF you have the funds for a facility that you find that you like and you have the funds to pay for it why would you select to go to a lesser place that would keep you as a resident once Medicaid has to kick in? I would think that you would want your funds to pay for your care rather than having the taxpayers foot the bill for your long term stay?
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Reply to Grandma1954
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If you needed Medicaid it would put a lien on your house that the next owner would need to satisfy when it transfers after you death (this is called MERP: Medicaid Estate Recovery Program). Medicaid rules can differ by state, but this is basically what would happen. Medicaid/the US govt does not want a physical house, they want the money they "lent" you for your care.

Even if your son inherited your home, even without a lien, does he make enough income to be able to afford owning it? Paying the taxes, insurance, utilities, maintenance and repairs? My SFIL and MIL's quad home went into foreclosure because they were 3 years behind in paying their property taxes (even though they were paying their mortgage).

I agree that you should consult with an estate planning attorney or elder law attorney who are familiar with Medicaid.
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BurntCaregiver Sep 29, 2024
@Geaton

No. Not if the house is made a Medicaid-exempt asset longer than the five-year lookback period.

Of course, property taxes and insurance on the house still have to be paid up. If you don't pay the property taxes it's the city or township that forcloses on a property, not Medicaid.

Irrevocable Trusts or getting assets out of an older person's name makes them Medicaid-exempt. This also applies if a need for homecare arises. The property owner may be low enough income to receive Medicaid (not for LTC that's something different) in addition to their Medicare and still own their home.

If they qualify for the paid family caregiver program a family member can get paid to take care of them and if they don't have assets in their name or have put assets into Trust for their family, no money gets recapped after they die.
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I think it's wonderful that you want to leave something to your family and are planning ahead. If only every aging parent or family member was so considerate. Here are some options to explore. Of course, you should go to a lawyer who specializes in elder law and estate planning.

You can put your house into an 'Irrevocable Trust' and name your son as the Trustee. You will still own your home and have lifetime use of it, but if you go into a care facility it's a protected asset. It will not have to be probated either when you pass away and this saves a fortune and a lot of headaches too. It will pass directly to your son and he can't be forced to sell to pay off any bills or expenses you may have.

He can live there himself or rent it out if he wants and no one will be able to collect a cent. He can't sell it though. If he sells, then any bills you may owe including care bills will get paid from the proceeds of the property.

Or you can transfer the deed to your son now and if have a stipulation made that you will have lifetime use of the home.
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Isthisrealyreal Sep 29, 2024
I am going to contradict your statement that "you will still own the house." That is incorrect, the trust will own the house, if it doesn't, it isn't protected. Also, she should be the 1st Trustee with the son as a secondary that steps in under whatever conditions are best in their state.
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Carla
It depends ….
On what state you live in as rules are different for Medicaid in different states.

In some states the contribution your son has made to your care makes a difference.
In some states if a child has kept the parent from needing a NH by caring for them for two years prior to Medicaid picking up the tab (and the child did not have an outside job during that time) Medicaid delays collecting on any lien placed on the home until after that child’s death.

Does your son even want your home? Can your son afford the maintenance, taxes, insurance natural disasters that come in time? Or would this be a heavy burden for him?

Is your son in excellent health and promised to outlive you?
Dependent upon you now and you are worried about what will become of him?

There are many nuances to long range financial planning.

Currently the rules in most states require that no “gifting” be made for at least 5 years before the need for Medicaid. And very careful records must be kept.

You ask, What is the answer? It is a good question but unique to the individual. Take good care of yourself. Set a good example to your son that life isn’t free and we all need to do our part to care for ourselves. If he is well, and I hope he is, then he has many years ahead to plan for his future.

Good luck on your research. questions get better answers when more details are provided.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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I frankly never understand why elders want to preserve their homes and assets for their kids instead of keeping them safely in their own control for their own care while they live. THEN the kids get what's left. In my experience it takes a lifetime to save enough to have control. Keeping the home in YOUR control, and not renamed to a deed for your son, means you could sell it and live in ALF if you needed to on the assets that home accumulated.

That said, if you wish to do this do see an Elder Law Attorney. He will give you the options. Take someone REALLY SAVVY with you who will understand what this attorney says, because irrevocable trusts and such, that remove your assets from YOUR CONTROL and place them in a Trust? Well, as RealyReal already told you, that means that the TRUST OWNS YOUR HOME, not you, and you cannot change that in an irrevocable trust.

Good luck to you.
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BurntCaregiver Sep 30, 2024
@Alva

You can put whatever stipulations in a Trust that you want. Like lifetime use of the property and retaining making all decisions concerning short only of actually selling it.

How different is this than actual ownership? Your name isn't on the deed. That's what you give up. It's worth it to have protected assets for your family.
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Make a living will now
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AlvaDeer Sep 29, 2024
Usually on Forum when people make these "saving home for the kids" posts they are speaking of preventing Medicaid from doing recovery or "claw back" of funds expended for their care. To my mind that's wrong. Whether this gal choose to sell her home for great care for some years in ALF, or to keep home and go on Medicaid when she needs to, I think it is wrong to shelter assets in that manner.
The home is often placed in a Trust that cannot be accessed by you. You have essentially given away your one asset, your home, while you are still living and could be in need of/getting care in home caregivers or nice Extended Care facility. All so that your kids don't have to do what YOU did, work hard, save hard and buy real estate over their lifetime. Many here say that's no longer possible. But it IS. You start small and you spend a life clipping coupons. You don't have every streaming service ever created by man, and just as many cars in the family. It can be done and Dave Ramsey can help folks figure out how. And if it isn't EASY? That's life. It ISN'T easy. But saving can become just as powerful, just as much fun as spending. Really. It can. It becomes a sort of game.
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If your house is your only asset or as it is for many it is your biggest asset then you will probably need it yourself with increasing cost of care.
First if you need AL it could be costly. Average stay in AL is 5 years, $4000-8000 per month right now and no doubt cost will increase exponentially.
If you have long progressive disease and wish to stay in your home for several years you will need some extra help which is very costly. Caregivers charge about $25-30 per hour.
Or at 66 you could live for another 30 years and unless you have other assets or are very wealthy selling your property could be another option.
I know my husband having Parkinson which could last 20+ years money we will need for his care could be more than what we have.
As the very last resource and only if absolutely necessary there is reverse mortgage option as well which with prices here would give us several years of paying for care.
I would never give it to children while alive.
My husband and I are both against it, in fact his son is trying to get “loan” from us. He is divorcing millionaire and cannot afford lawyer. For starters about $50,000 for fees.
He had extremely well paid job, they lived lavish lifestyle.
Well, no job, no place to live, they have property worth close to 2mil. She has several lawyers and won’t sell, claims she paid it all.
Good thing I am in charge of most our assets which are at this time saved for care of my husband so I don’t kill myself doing all of it.
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@Alva

Well, maybe it is wrong to 'shelter assets' as you say. This behavior wouldn't be necessary if LTC facilities (memory care, nursing homes, assisted living,etc...) had a leash put on their obscene greed and insatiable lust for the Almighty Dollar.

People clutch their pearls in shock and get very judgmental when some average Joe that worked and saved his entire life figures out how to keep a little taste for himself and leave something behind for his family.

Yet, it's perfectly fine and legal for the "care" industry to fleece an entire family and go through every cent in no time at all. It's acceptable for a nursing home, memory care, hospital, or any other LTC facility to collect obscene amounts of money from insurance and still charge a person full price in cash. That's stealing and fraud. For the most part the patient/resident is offered shamefully little for what's being collected for them.

It's perfectly fine for profit-making LTC facilities to cut every corner they can to save money including cutting essential staff and risking patient care and safety. They still charge the obscene bill for every resident every month and get it, but your "loved one" can sit in their own crap because there's not enough aides to keep up. Or they get assaulted in memory care because there isn't any security. Or their food is such poor quality it isn't fit for a dog. I know this because I brought one of the nursing home meals back for the dog rather than waste it. The dog wouldn't touch it, yet the patient/residents are expected to eat that. Most of those people don't have family bringing in outside meals like my father did.

Many people in addition to upwards of 8, 9, and 10 grand a month or more have to hire private caregivers for their LO in LTC and pay them out-of-pocket. Otherwise grandma doesn't eat because there isn't staff who can spend two hours feeding her a meal. She stays in a mess because there's not staff available to wash her up immediately eventhough they're collecting a fortune.

With me, if some little guys figures out how to keep a taste for himself and his family, good for him.
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freqflyer Sep 30, 2024
Burnt, running a senior facility is extremely expensive. Here's a good read from Forbes, please note it was written back in 2012, so one will need to add a lot more to each cost figure. www.forbes.com/2007/02/28/merrill-lynch-assisted-living-ent-manage-cx_mf_0228assistcosts.html?sh=5d267e9960c3
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He means if he needs Medicaid at some point, I would think.
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The answer is....go see a Certified Elder Care attorney rather than ask a bunch of bickering strangers on the internet their opinions on such a matter! Some guidance should come from professionals and be paid for. It's well worth the expense!
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AlvaDeer Sep 30, 2024
Ha! Very best advice ever!
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Ultimately you’re going to have to let go of the house and everything else. This is the nature of the beast of life and death as a human being.
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See an attorney.
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Reply to TouchMatters
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Will your son need to live in your home?
Will he need the income from a sale of your home after you pass?
Do you want to have an inheritance for your son?
If yes to first to questions, then you have 2 options:
1 - Put home into a trust fund. See local lawyer to get that completed.
2 - Sell home to your son and have him "allow" you to live there as a tenant. He will then be responsible for the taxes and upkeep of your home. If your state gives property tax breaks for seniors or homestead, he will not have that advantage if you sell to him - and he isn't a senior or doesn't live there.

As for inheritance, give things of value while you are still alive and no longer "use" something. My mom passed along to me 2 necklaces she inherited from her mother when Gram passed. I wear them proudly. My dad did not honor his mother's wishes for items to go to certain family members - all written in her will - and sold everything so he could have the cash.
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You should see an elder law attorney. The state I live in allows a transfer of a home to a caretaker child who has lived with you for the past two years. But the Medicaid rules are complex and you need an attorney to help you work through this. Usually they can do the whole package--will, POA, health directives and medicaid planning--for a reasonable fee if your situation isn't complex.
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As other have noted, you really need to get with an attorney licensed in your state as each state has different laws/rules and then there is federal law to consider, especially if Medicaid long term skilled nursing care may be need later in life.

But first, kudos to you at age 66 to be thinking about this. Most folks wait until there is a health crisis and when they are much, much older than you; thereby leaving any real time to plan and consider your options. And the Medicaid long term care coverage provisions (if that might be needed later on) has a 5-year look back provision that can trigger a delay/disqualification if major assets (such as the house) were gifted, sold for under market value to a relative/son just to shift ownership, names were added to the deed to try to protect the asset, shifted to a Trust, etc.

Making these decisions now at age 66 when you are in good health and NOT in a crisis is OPTIMAL. Again, so good you are doing this now and planning ahead!

Your state bar association is a good starting place for look for an attorney/firm that specializes in elder care law as well as Will, Trust and Estates. Many are in the same practice or specialize in this area of that law and that is what you need as there is no do over -- so to speak -- with some moves/decisions such as putting some or all assets in an irrevocable trust. A specialized attorney in this area needs to advise you. You may also want to get the advice of an accountant/tax attorney depending the your net worth.

Good luck with this! And urge your similarly aged friends/family to get going on the same rather than waiting to it is a crisis situation.
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Reply to Sohenc
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Make an appointment with an attorney in your state who is well-versed in elder care. You might need to put your assets in to a trust. Get all of your affairs in order legally.
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Reply to Katherine1953
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You are commended for thinking ahead. An Elder Care Attorney might give you some advice.
Why not sell the house to use for personal care and put your son's name on a designated account to help pay for your care?
I sold my parent's house and opened a payee account for my mom since my dad passed away. I became my mother's court appointed guardian.
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Reply to Onlychild2024
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Please see an elder care attorney. He will assess your entire situation and be able to advise you more effectively than those of us on here who have experience with this. Your individual situation, your son’s attitude and ability to manage all must be considered. Make an appt now.
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Reply to RetiredBrain
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Please take the advice of others on here. My dad didn’t have any property & little money so we thought it was silly to spend money on an attorney to put things in place for us. Wrong decision!!!!!!! We are now facing a mess because of how Medicaid wants things set up & worded. Find a fair elder care attorney who doesn’t charge exorbitantly high fees & consider it money well spent!
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I DO KNOW medicaid can take the home(s) and property. State insurance really isn't free unless you have no assets. I was actually told this by medicaid after I straight asked. Medicare doesn't. With Medicare a premium is paid. My mom is on Medicare only. There are extra help programs under Medicare which can help make up for not receiving the medicaid too. Make sure you pick a Medicare plan that benefits your needs the most. You can also ask an attorney about putting everything in your sons name now (if you KNOW you can TRUST HIM COMPLETELY) it might be better to do this 120 days before medicaid application I'm not sure. But it doesn't mean that it can't be done. You can even "sell" it to your son for a dirt cheap price. I think it can only be so much under fair market value though. I don't know if a transfer on death would help in your situation. It by passes probate but it might not keep medicaid (the state) from taking the house.
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BurntCaregiver Oct 6, 2024
@Cally

This isn't true. I personally know several people (in the state of CT) who own their own homes, have Medicare, and receive Medicaid as their secondary insurance (to cover the percentage Medicare does not). This is so because their monthly incomes are low enough to qualify for Medicaid in this state.

I assume that you're in California (hence your screen name is Cally)? A lower income senior on Medicare who can't afford a secondary insurance can't get Medicaid in CA? Every "migrant" coming in illegally with nothing but the clothes on their backs and a string of hungry kids gets Medicaid California. Along with housing, food assistance, and cash asisstance. Low-income seniors don't?

What times we live in, smh...
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CarlaC58: Retain an attorney.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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I don’t think you should make any decision for another 10-15 years. 66 and healthy. Average age in NH mid eighties, average stay around 2 years.
It is simply not right time to have house transfer to trust and losing certain privileges that come with ownership.
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Reply to Evamar
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Like the others said, an attorney specializing in elder care is good advice. Remember, though, your assets (including your home) and your savings, etc., are for YOU to use, especially for your care when you get older. We are living longer now, and we should not be focused on trying to leave our children and grandchildren a lot of money or stuff when we pass. We are doing them a great favor by using up all of our assets and money on caring for ourselves when we need it for as long as possible, so they won't have to make difficult decisions. I am sure our children understand this in this day and age. I hope you do not have to worry about all of these things for a very long time but prepare for yourself and your needs while you can. An elder care attorney is a good investment.
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Reply to asfastas1can
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Gzzzzz some really great helpful answers and some absolutely not.
1. If you are low income in california you will absolutely qualify for medi-cal as your secondary. Medi-cal is only based on your income. So if you have a zillion dollars Medi-cal can only ask for the income of that. Example if you have 50k in a savings what is your income from that. Say it's 500.00 interest for that year. Then all Medi-cal can add is the 500.00 not the 50k it self. if you have a rental property and you receive 1500 a month after all the deductions for that property taxes,insurance repairs etc. Then your profit is concerned income.
2. Medi-cal does not come after an estate if your not in a skilled nursing facility. Which is another ball game itself. But there are things you can do to protect yourself should a skilled nursing be necessary. Never take a facilities word as far as your income goes. There are many free programs out there that can assist you.
3. Never ever wait till the last minute get your affairs in order.
4 an attorney can be expensive but we'll wroth it. It will be money well spent.
5. Most importantly DO NOT WAIT. Sounds like your on the right track I wish you luck.
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Reply to LoniG1
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Carla, the reason you need a certified elder attorney well versed in Medicaid for your state is that you want someone who understands all the nuances of your situation and has the experience, the knowledge and the pitfalls of the alternatives.

The average person knows what worked (or didn’t) for them but no one can tell you exactly what you should do beyond seek professional help as your circumstances are unique to you.

It is a big complicated subject where there is much to lose if not managed correctly.
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