My aunt has a form of dementia, not formally diagnosed. She goes between her boyfriend's home and her sisters. When at her boyfriend's house, she thinks there are two Daves. She insists there are two and you can not tell her otherwise. When she is with her sister, there are times she recognizes her sister and other times she thinks she is her aide. She will sit in the same room and try and telephone her. She gets very frustrated and upset when she can't reach her by phone. Any suggestions for my aunt on how to help her sister recognize her? Or, is this hopeless?
#1 On it you write with a black sharpie in large print "DAVE" with his photo beside it.
#2 Second line could say 'DAVE" with no photo beside it.
#3 Third line is Sister's name and photo beside it.
#4 It's doubtful that she could recognize or adapt to this, but worth a shot.
To relieve some of the anxiety and prevent your Aunt from getting upset when she tries to call her sister why don't you suggest that her sister get a cell phone and have your Aunt call the cell phone that way she can answer the phone even if she is in the same room. Sounds silly but they can sit and have a chat. At least she is still using a phone. My Husband stopped using the phone early on in his journey with Alzheimer's. I would have loved a talk with him any way possible.
With any dementia different parts of the brain are effected differently and each person will have different "quirks" and different ways that they deal with whatever perception they have in their mind as to what they are seeing, hearing, feeling. You just have to learn each new thing as it comes and how to deal with that before the next thing comes and changes what you have just figured out.
So this is an article about Capgras delusion, which is not exactly what you are talking about, but the techniques described are certainly applicable to your difficult situation.
"Entering into the reality" of someone who has a delusion is really difficult, so don't beat yourself up if it takes a lot of practice and patience.
The last time I saw him he was being evacuated due to a hurricane. His granddaughter had been asked to go to FIL house to get clothing and meds for the trip. He came to me and said "I know GD has gone to get our things. That's good. I just want to know is she going to house A or house B". I skipped a beat, not wanting to have a conversation about the two houses. So I said "house A" ( which was true). He said "good".
The only thing I can think of is if the sister is visiting and the aid could come in she might realize she has made a mistake. But I doubt it would change anything the next time even if it did that time... Which is doubtful. Best to redirect or change the subject.