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mother has dementa. Last few weeks wants to know who man is standing near bed, who are the dead bodies laying in the floor, talking out to self or seeming to have conversations, wanting lights on at night,, wants tv on t night s can't hear voices in he head, says I'M losing my mind, somehingswodwit my head....fears

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Hi oldcodger2,
Seems like we are on the same page this morning!! My Mom too saw Dad and men in the neighbors garage sitting and talking. She "see's things" when they are not there, things happen when they do not happen, etc....I know you understand. When I looked in our neighbors garage, nobody was there. The only thing that should be done is to agree and hug and love on your Mom or MIL [if possible] Do not argue or rationalize with Mom. What is real to her is real to her. Appease her and make her happy instead of more stressed out by telling her she is delusional. But definately tell your doctor about it. I hope its a geriatric physician or geriatric physician.
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My MIL said for a long time that she heard men singing early in the morning and they always sang the Star Spangled Banner - that they sounded like a quartet - harmonizing. Then once she said she SWORE there was a man who stood in her doorway to the bedroom and looked at her. She swore someone came into our home and into her bedroom and just 'looked' at her. We dismissed these things - but now I am wondering if we should not mention them to her doctor. Her doctor gave her that mini test and said she does not have Dementia. Who knows what is going on in her head. Whatever it is - it isn't good. She has not mentioned the singing or anyone 'stopping buy uninvited' lately. This was a year or so ago. These things are just a REAL to her as what she has 'created' in her mind about me lately. It is just sad. I have chosen to save myself and for now, at least, I do not have to have personal contact with her.
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My mom has a new friend. She is an old lady and she lives in the mirror. What is fun is she believes she is nine so that lady who smiles at her can not possibly be her reflection. Because she has aphasia and her talk is all gibberish. They REALLY can talk to each other. It is fascinating.
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We just went trough this two weeks ago - the culprit was a urinary track infection. Get her to her primary so he can order a specimen and prescribe a course of antibiotics, if that is the cause in your case.
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Seems like a lot of us are having the experience. My Mother In Law has pod people living in her house. People that have no homes, sit in an area of the room holding their beach ball like pod which they keep their babies in. She is very concerned about them and has a whole story about who they are and why they are doing what they are doing. We have gone along with her and have asked her if they talk to her. Answer...no much. We have told her to let them know that it is ok for them to be there and that they can eat or do laundry if they want. That seems to be her main concern. Whether or not they have eaten or drank anything. If they get threatening to her she is to let us know so maybe we can do something about it. Although I'm not sure what. She was put on anti-psycotics this week. We'll see what happens. Keep the Dr. up to date.
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Dear Sharjo,
I agree with everything jeannegibs said. Dementia is a very cruel disease. My Mom used to have hallucinations too. She told me one day that Daddy and the C & C men were sitting in the garage next door talking when they were supposed to be working. And I looked and no one was in our neighbors garage. My doctor told me that this is the worse stage of dementia, almost right at the beginning when the parent is still lucid but also knows that something is wrong with their brain. Frustration and anger on their part is normal because they can't understand what is going on with their thinking. It hurts them emotionally and also hurts you. Yes, I also agree with her that there is no point in rationalizing or trying to convince Mom that she is delusional--she probably won't even understand what that means. Reassurance and love and telling her you will protect her no matter what is the best way to go. Change/distract her from the delusions when they happen may also help. That is what I used to do.
My Mom is now in hospice and she still has delusions. Sometimes she will tell sis and bro that I haven't gone to see her in 3 or 5 days, when I go every day and stay for hours. But by the time 5 pm rolls around, poor Mom forgot that I came that day and is sad and very hurt cause I did not go and see her....and then she calls me almost in tears and it breaks my heart cause I cannot make her remember that I was there that day. But her delusions did not get any worse or last as long. Don't know why---who can know with dementia? But I agree to tell her doctor about it, her doctor should be updated on every new symptom Mom has. I hope this helps a little bit.
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Most Drs aren't very spiritual....but....many times the truth is that our loved ones are near death when they experience 'so called' hallucinations. There are many dimensions and the one we are experiencing here is the 3rd. When we pass to the other side, we re-enter the 4th. The energy forces which keep us from being able to enter another dimension are like four walls which contain us. When we are near death, we walk the line so to speak and are sometimes halfway in and halfway out. Many times the people are real rather than imagined. In my experience, most dying patients (unless in a coma) report seeing loved ones and spirit guides in the last days before their departure. Talk with her and listen. There is always a lesson.
Love and Blessings
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My mom had started having vivid hallucinations at night, and more mild ones occasionally in the daytime. We had her checked out for a UTI and sure enough she had one. She was treated and lo and behold, hallucinations went to almost zero. (She "heard" someone scratching at the window once since the UTI was cleared up.) While being treated for the UTI, her doctor also put her on a 2.5 mg dose of an anti psychotic med called zyprexa. We give it at night before bedtime and it has worked wonders in quieting and calming her down. She has no morning grogginess or other side effects from it. It has been a lifesaver for me as I was up with her 4- 5 times a night putting her back in bed and calming her down from her hallucinations.
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Equinox... perhaps we should get her together with my mom also!! My 81 year old mom had twins the other night! We were up 1/2 the night looking for the "babies" as she was so afraid she or her husband would squish them during the night. *sigh* She even asked me, "Do I look thinner now???" lol. So sad. It seems to be babies, kittens and puppies we are seeing here most of the time, but we also have people climbing through the windows at night, dead bodies were a thing a while back. The entire guest bedroom was "filled" with dead bodies. People standing behind her chair (which is against a wall...) Everything that happens on TV is happening here. We really have to watch out for things on TV, but even "The little House on the Prairie" was a problem the other night... men were fighting on the program... well, later it was men fighting here, and after while I was involved in the fights too... I agree. Much more humane when they don't know there is a problem. Worse when they can see it themselves.
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My mom tells me about her delusions also. She told me that the lady, who she shares the room with, had a baby. ( lady is like close to 80) and she keeps her baby in her room till it gets older. Says she was raped. Sometimes I wonder if my mom was raped. I know my dad was verbally abusing my mom, and I know he physically abused her as well. When I mentioned this to the facility Dr. And asked if there were any new meds, she said no, but would check to see if she has uti. And sure enough it was positive. So am I supposed to think that every time she talks like this the possibility of a uti is going on. It's the same story all the time though. Of course, when she told me that some man comes thru the window in her room and takes her clothes, then I checked on her clothes, ( pjs) were missing. Lolo. I m not crazy, I made a list of what clothing she had the other day, sure enough only 2sets of the5 set of pjs we're there. Yesterday they appeared in her drawer. I don't think the man comes thru her window, but somebody brought back pjs. I do her wash, I haven't washed those pjs in three weeks. I am guessing that the staff who wash clothes picked them up. Didn't read the sign, or they may have been placed with bed linen. There no such thing as a perfect nursing home. Lolo. I laugh cause these pjs were not in her drawer the day before. I am happy with the nursing staff, and the aids are helpful. We all make mistakes.
To all who share these issues," patience is a virtue."
Equinox
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Hugs to u and ur mom. my mom went through the same thing only a LOT worse. the hallucinations controlled her life. After ending up in a geriatric psych hospital due to calling the police during a hallucination episode, she was placed on anti-psychotic meds. Within 2 months she was so much better. Yes, she still has AD, but keeping those crazy "men who turn my lights on all night" out of the picture has helped her qualify of life and our ability to converse with her. Best to u!
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I agree with teachergear1, see a doctor and also let him check for bladder infection which can also cause hallucinations.
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I'd certainly report these to her doctor. Some medications DO cause hallucinations.
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I sympathize with you. My mom is experiencing the same things. I find it very stressful. However, a few of my siblings go along with her discussions and humor her. That seems to work best. Whereas when I would try to rationalize the discussions I was rebuked. I quickly got on board and realized that it is the illness, she has loss the ability to know that the are not real, and go with the flow. It is nerve wracking when she turns out all light and the TV. But I am thankful for the moments of clarity.... Hang in there, use a little humor, and keep praying.
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Poor dear. Dementia is such a cruel disease, and I think among its cruelest tricks is giving vctims enough lucidity to comprehend their loss. Poor Mother knows that "somethingswodwit my head." Heart breaking.

My husband had this self-awareness in the beginning, too. I would hug him and tell him, "You have a very fine mind. You've done wonderful, intelligent things. You have an impressive edcuation. Right now you have a disease that interferes with the working of your fine mind. It is not at all your fault. You have good doctors. They will do everything they can for you. And I will always love you and always take care of you. When your mind isn't working quite right, I will be there to keep you safe."

Seeing people, or just believing they are there is not unusual with dementia. How to deal with it, I think, depends on whether your mother finds these delusions distressing. I would find a dead body in the house very distressing, but my husband reported it very matter-of-factly. He just wanted me to stay out of that room until the crime scene investigators had been there! It doesn't do any good to try to convince a dementia patient that there is no man in the room or that there are no bodies. It is better to be reassuring about it. "The police are sending a crew to remove the bodies. Come sit in the family room with me and have some tea while we wait." With luck, the topic will soon be forgotten. And I don't see any harm in leaving lights on or the tv on, if that is comforting.

This phase of vivid delusions did not last more than a few months for my husband. (He still has an occasional delusion, but not constantly like he did at first.) I know other cases where delusions persisted for a very long time. I couldn't guess whether these will last a long time for your mother.

Do report these symptoms to the doctor who is treating her dementia.

Hugs to you as you deal with this very perplexing development.
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