The Caregiver... How are YOU doing today?

Starri, So sorry your mom is in such pain. God help me, I would give her morphine anyway. Sometimes I just do what I feel is right, or what I would want done for me. I know you try so hard to do what she wants. And it is so painful for both of you. Your hubby sounds like a wonderful man and is probably reliving his own experience of the past. Bet he is just now grieving for his mom. And now you must be strong for him, too. You are an angel....a Starri Angel. I love that picture in my head. Hugs to you.

ASG...I hope your better days will last a long time. Maybe she has been there long enough to get smitten with the kids and the dog. Whatever it is, let's hope it lasts a lloooooonng time. Now that summer is here, she may as well get used to them, right? God, I loved summer as a kid, never enough time to explore, but it was a different time, too.

I must get a shower and get ready to do errands. I needed a little more time to get ready, so I have until 11 am. Hubby is home today with sinus headahe. We need rain to clear the air.....and get the poison ivy off my green beans..........

Thank You Seeme, she's doing pretty good this morning, seems like things get worse at night. If her pain levels stay as high as they have been, I will be consulting with her nurse about the morphine. Like it or not, she's going to have to have it.

I think you might have hit the nail on the head with my husband, I had not thought about that, it's a sad thought though that he had to wait all these years to get it out, he's 63 now and she died when he was 4. His dad was left with 2 small kids and no clue as to what to do. He basically shipped them off after their mom died.

hopefully he is feeling better today, it's going to be a quiet day around here, not sure if we are expecting anyone from hospice today, had the nurse yesterday, the CNA the other day, haven't seen the Chaplin yet this week, so maybe he'll be out.

Well so much for her feeling good, up at 630 am doing well, and now she's started moaning again. Lasted about 45 minutes, that isn't too bad, got her pain pills in her and we'll see where we go from here. one thing after another it seems.

Morning everyone, Burned, please let us know how you are today. Everyone is so proud of you taking the "bull by the horns" and getting things done that insure you, your husband and kids are finally going to have some peace and everyone can enjoy each other more. Hang in there!
Starri, I hate to hear she is not in agreement to the morphine, can only imagine how hard that is for you to watch and hear her pain and know there is something you can do. but I also understand the position you are in, wanting to honor her wishes...Is there anyone that could talk to her about the positive side to the morphine? Sometimes they will listen to someone else and not us.... I am sorry to hear how hard this is on your husband.. all of you are hurting, and you can not take care of everyone all the time, you have to take care of you too. prayers and hugs to you today..
ASG, Aunt Weird, gotta love it...I am happy to hear she is treating the kids better. Maybe she will really try to enjoy the kiddos and it will be better for everyone. What did your son say about her touching her on his face??? Maybe she is doing a little grieving herself.. and accepting the situation and understanding what you have done by taking her in. No telling, maybe she was being ugly sometimes to keep from loving all of you and protecting herself... who knows, just happy to hear she is trying to enjoy the kids more... they will keep her entertained if she lets them...
Seeme, I am reading along this morning and BOOM, my morning laugh, about green beans and poison ivy,,, Thanks for getting my day started with a seeme-fix... you never answered about the bunnies , and I do have to say that concerns me a little, is there something you are not telling us...??? Poor bunnies.
Jam, so happy to hear you got some "me" time with your sisters. And was Target wore out when you got home? Or was he out in the yard pulling weeds???
The outside cat, Mr. Man is tearing up the screen door for his breakfast so need to get going. Another fun day with Sonny the lineman, and Ms. M is smiling a lot more... so this is going to be a good thing... love you all, newcomers keep posting and letting it out... hugs across the miles to all of you.

Seemer, when I was a kid we lived in the country with realitves all around. We were always exploring. I think if my kids did half the stuff I did, I would lose my mind. Not bad behavior things, just dangerous thingsl like playing on the rail road bridge that was a mile long. And going to the creek to swim without parents. Mom says she don't remember those things. I think she must have been busy watching soap operas. Lol. Starri, I like that name too! You have a lot on your plate, but this to shall pass. You will be stronger and wiser from this experience and so will your husband. The in home hospice I had experience with sent the batth aid out every other day, and the nurse out on the other days through the work week. We didn't have a good hospice experience though. Thank goodness they are all different. Communication with any of them though is the key to the best experience. Don't be afraid to give them a call and ask who you will see today.

Ok guys, girls were gone to grandmas. Oldest son went with dad this week, so that left me with 2. Of coarse they were boared and wanteed a friend over after t ball. Went great by the way. Thought we were gonna get rained out but didn't. Anyways, this little boy I've known since he was born. Very active 5 year old. Who evedently dosnt sleep! Ever!!!! This is his first sleep over with us. after 1 in the morning he says hey my mom let's me stay up all night. I said I don't think so but nice try. He says she does, for 3 days! I said nice try buddy.told him if he wanted to play in the water he needs sleep. He comes up with the funniest stuff somtimes. Aunt dosnt know he's here. So I've worried bout it all morning. I will not allow her to be crappy to somone elses kids. I kinda thought it was a bad idea last night but I guess I hate telling the kids they can't have a friend over or do this and that and blame it on the cargiving. This is hard enough on 'em. Figured maybe she wouldn't notice Lol since the others were gone. I will just tell her he's one of the other kids!!! Jk.

Sorry you didn't have a good experience with Hospice Allshe, There's not a problem with the ladies we have coming out, if we did have a problem though they would not like me...lol... I have absolutely no problem in getting in someone's face if they are not doing what they are suppose too.. guess maybe that could be one upside to the bipolar, my temper can get high very quickly and won't tolerate "stuff" out of anyone.

She's starting to settle down again, hopefully she gets some more sleep and then we will try eating something.

Hope everyone has a peaceful day

Starri.....oooooooohhhhh I like you better all the time !!! Actually, you are just secuer enough to know what you and tour mom needs from Hospice, and they need to adapt to you. I have always been kind, but I have also called the office and asked that certain ones not come back. Once, I had 3 different nurses come in one week to re-evaluate mom. No one had been before, one had quit, one got lost, and the last one was snippy. The PT from the same company was wonderful. Never know what you are going to get.

Good Morning! Trying to play catch-up on all the posts.

When I got home yesterday thought I might find Target standing at the edge of the pond with a wistful look on his face......but no he was actually awake...:O....and on the computer. Said he didn't have any problems with the col and I didn't either last night, but the inner beast was lurking. I walked outside about an hour ago and he had taken breakfast to her and I could hear raised voices. She was desperately trying to feed parts of her bacon to the dog and he kept telling her to eat it and she said she wasn't hungry anymore, so he took it from her. She did eat most everything, cinnamon roll, bacon and fresh strawberries. But she was mad because "he begs so cute". Oh for heaven's sake, here we go again.

ASG......that's wonderful about your Aunt and the kids....I imagine your son was wondering what was going to befall him now when she put her hand on his face. Does she play the piano? That would be wonderful if she could interact with the kids with lessons. And the little sleepover guest.....awwww just one of the kids....:)

Starri........my heart goes out to you, it's so hard to watch them be in pain. The weekend before my mom passed, last Dec, and she was still in the hospital she appeared to be in so much pain and she was being given Haldol and no morphine. She was in that hospital only because my husband was on shift in the ER the night she got sick and it would be unethical for him to treat her, so I had to take her to another hospital and under the care of doctors that I didn't know and once there they have to do everything possible because it's illegal to just move her. On Monday, I called her own physician, told him I knew she was dying and there was nothing more to be done so we had her transferred back to the NH and hospice came in. That's the only time I have dealt with them and they were wonderful. Anyway, the first thing I asked for was ms and "not a problem" let's get it on board. And it was obvious she was in pain. She had aspiration pneumonia and was working so hard to breathe. The ms made it so much easier on her. And she passed peacefully about 14 hours after discharge back to the NH. I'm glad she didn't linger. But I still haven't had a chance to really grieve for her....my younger siblings, as well as 2 estranged daughters of mine started acting like complete lunatics and with having to still care for mil......well my grief got put on the back burner. It sounds like it's coming up front for your husband. I'm sure his mind is full and you are all hurting together....at least you do have each other to lean on. My heart aches for you all......and you're the "angel glue" that holds it all together. You will probably have to just give Mom the ms.....later she will figure out how much better she feels so maybe she will be more receptive.

Time to get col's laundry done........................

Love and Hugz,
Jam

Ladee, he was quiet and went to school, I asked later and he said he thought she was reachin down to smack him. starri, the prob with the hospice we had was they had only been a hospice for 6 months and we very unorganized. Sent a lady nurse who would be there 5 min on her comp. And told my hubby she was working on another patients chart. Then left, wouldn't help move her. They told us that nurse wqs on chemo. They shouldn't have paired her with my mil then cause she had been septis, and vancomyicyn resistant infection that she had been treated for. Vancamyicyn the dr. Told us was worse than MRSA they siad it was the new bad bug. We were fine cause cause we were not sick.

Well that didn't last long!!! I waited till she noticed there was an extra boy, she affectionalty called him the new boy, not his name, for the first couple hours. Then around 10 she told me I wouldn't babysit for anyone if I was you, you have enough here with this ol lady. I said I'm not babysitting the girls and M is gone so he is having a sleep over. Its babysitting she snaps. All because he half way ran past her following the other boys out the door. Now she is not so affectionatly calling him "the fat kid"!!! Saying she wouldn't let him on the deck he might break it if it was her deck! He is not even 5yrs old yet!!!so since then she keeps coming out of her room tattling on the fat kid for everything from getting back on the deck, to playing on the dirt hill (a small hill of dirt left over from construction that the boys have hot wheel cars set up on. Its nutts. I wanted so bad to tell her to shut up and go take a nap!! But I wouldn't ever do that. She is also going on about a cup, which she isn't really looking for. 8 watched her nosing through my cabinet, the one I keep my mail in. So I walk in and ask if I can help her find somthing. It took her 3 or 4 minutes to come up with thatstory. Saw my fil drinking outta a cup like this out the window and there you go. Oh my! Just annoyances, but oh how they can just be so big!!!

ASG, I'll never understand why some elders just have to be hateful when they talk. My dad was like that, just bitter and nothing ever made him happy.. I would snap back at him, but I am not a sweetie like you are. You have such a big heart, guess that is why you are able to do what you do...But saying it here helps,,,,And you are right, all those little things do make a big pile after awhile don't they? Sorry it didn't last long.
hugs to you

Thanks ladeeda!!! It got worse. She came out AGAIN being spitty about what I'm not even really sure. So I called the little boys mom and told her they were all tired and I needed to put mine down for a nap. Then the little boys mom comes to get him and she comes out and opens the door to the garage where we were standing just being nicy, nice. She knew I was busy, she didn't need anything she sits down at the kitchen table where we had gone inside to gather his things, aunt starts mouthing to me like she's whispering only purposly loud enough for the mom to hear, that tommarrow is HER day, and there will be NO extra children here tommarrow!!!! I wanted to sink into a whole! She was all pursing her lips. Said she should have had a shower??? She NEVER volunteers for a shower ever! I have to talk her into it. She never not one time even indicated to me that she was thinking of one. I'm so mad, I'm so when is this gonna be over with, and to pissed off right now to feel guilty about it. I went to her room today 3 times already, just as I always do letting the cat out. Even though she does it herself more now I STILL go in at the same times every day. Also helping my fil. Outside, while the boys played out there with me.

And helping her with lunch, coffee, and each time she came out to act worse than a spoiled 3 year old. Unbelievable!

ASG.....I sowwy, honey, it sounds very believable to me.....I've get her clone right here !!!! Only this one HAD to wake me up from a nap, and was damn near in tears when it was over..... until I said I was still tired...whooooo....she let off some steam then !!! She's is tired of hearing how tired I am all the time...if I quit reading the kindle I wouldn't be so tired....yada,yada,yada....

ASG....we had some good fun when we were kids. YES to the RR tracks, right out front and way down (we lived on a hill), concrete trestle, swimming in the ruf-off, stepping on thorns that were 3-4 inches long, going right through the sides of your keds, catching crawfish, snapping turtles from the pond and playing snake charmer with real snakes, exploring the empty house even though mom told us not to cause of the well........Oh, yeah....all six of us. Good thing I didn't have any kids to tell that to!! What goes around comes around......

ASG, I don't know how you can handle the situation between the aunt and the children and the dog and the cat. Your kids will learn very quickly how to defend themselves from the aunt!
Starri, I am sorry for your mother, but it's up to her to decide. It seems the morphine puts you in a state of dizziness and some people don't want it. We don't really know what we would choose in the same situation, so... (my father when he was very sick he didn't want pain killers)
Good night to everybody.

Ladee.....here's the scoop on the bunnies....I AM SHARING....I can see where they have eaten half of some snow peas and that is fine. Half the row is going to die from the ground up because of their romping........OK.....I will plant garden peas next......they don't like the squash cause the leaves are prickly, but they are not going hungry. And I haven't seen evidence of green bean consumption........but when they go after hubby's tomatoes, the proverbial you-know-what will hit the thingamabob...if you catch my drift.....and it WILL happen. !!!!

Last year we had trouble with the tomatoes riprning on the vine, so hubby took them off and set them on the patio furniture loveseat to ripen that way. The cushions were off so they sat in between the horizontal slats of the seat. Late one afternoon , aftr the heat of the day when the trees shade the patio, I watched a momma and baby rabbit for about 20-30 min. Momma finally stood on her back legs, under the seat now, and pushed a tomato to the end of the seat and baby got it and started eating. I was astounded. Then she goes to the front of the seat and reaches up with her 2 front paws (or Feet?..rabbit's foot) and grabs one for herself. I am watching them eat on the patio for the longest time. I quietly tell hubby about it and he hits the ceiling !! He yelled so loud, they heard him with the door shut, momma takes off, baby goes the wrong way and gets caught behind the grill, scaired (southern) to death and I have to herd him the right way. But it's ok if they eat my pea pods............so the saga has continued from last year.........

Well, if no one is going to play tonight, I will go to bed. ASG..tomorrow is another day....AUNTIE'S DAY !!!

Starri, Hope you make every day a fun one for your family.

Ladee, At this point you sound so happy, we couldn't beat you down witha 2 x 4.

Jam, He is so cute...big ole meanie Target........

Now I am going to read my Kindle till 3 am and complain to mom about how tired I am tomorrow.......It is now 10:15......will see if I last till 10:30...

Everyone have a good night's zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Wanted to tell everyone to have a good night and pleasant dreams.....preferably uninterrupted.....:) I'm really tired tonight....have been running after the col all day like she is a two-year old. The work on our front yard started this morning and several times I had to go out and shoo her away from the workers. I kept having visions of finding her buried in wet concrete up to her ankles. Cooked her supper and sat with her while she ate; she would have fed the dog. Finished her laundry and took it to her....she is no where to be seen. Front door ajar......gee whatcha doing out there? Oh I see you've been picking weeds. So I talk to the wall and explain what could happen if she had fallen and I wouldn't have known she was out there until I went to help her to bed at 10. SSDD.....over and over.

ASG....I'm sowwy Auntie's good humor didn't last longer. Don't you love it when they are happy and in a good mood? It just makes everything so much better to deal with. Then that old dark cloud has to descend at some point I guess.

Hi to Starri and burned.........hope you have had a good day and haven't had to deal with too much stress.

Hi Rossella!!!!!!! How's mom?

ladee......how was your day with Sonny? Playing more pick up sticks?

seeme.....say night night to the bunnies......

Love and Hugz,
Jam

Evening ladies, starting off to be a half way decent night, she's resting, we've had some problems keeping stuff down today, along with the cancer and heart issues, she has a enlarge esophagus that doesn't always allow food,fluids and meds to go down. moments after taking her night time meds, she spit them back up, so now the fun begins trying to time the pain pills and other meds without knowing just how much might have gotten into her system before she spit up.

It sounds like you ladies have your hands full, with never knowing how your family might be like at any time, so far Mom is just mainly nasty with me. Of course that isn't really anything new, she's a lot nicer to strangers than what she is family.

Hope all are getting some rest this evening

Jam, I'm so glad aunt can't get around outside well. She already picks apart thee porch if someone leaves somthing out there like oh I don't know their sunglasses or a baby doll!!!!
Ladeeda, lol,thanks, I'm sowwy to you guys, how's the new charges???
Seemer, funny how the whole nap thing pisses them off but its ok if we go to thhem and they are sleeping in their chair! Oh that's right they wernt really sleeping just had their eyes closed we only thought they were, my nap story will follow!
Rosella I hope you are right about the kids. They have already learned how to tell fibs to get her off each others backs:( no he didn't leave the door open it poped open by itself! Hope everything is well with you.

Burned, I hope you are getting some rest.
Starri, wish I couldgive aunt some of that morphine!!!!! Tonight id like to give her some pillow therapy also!

Ok, so here was the rest, after the little boy left, my boys for once layed down and fell asleep, so did I. The other little boy"the little fat boy" so she called him didn't fall asleep till after 2 a.m.(his first sleepover) but I didn't tell aunt that! Anyways, I fell asleep to and woke up a little later than I wanted but still early enough to grill what I had planned for supper. So I'm laying there deciding I need to get up when I hear her walker, in a voice loud enough to see if I'm here but not loud enough to wake me, she says "are you sleeping?" Repeat! Then I hear some clangy noises, so I get up to see if she is in the cabinet again, this time she has the refrigerator and freezer doors open! Ok for all who dont know me anyone is welcome to get in my fridge and have whatever is there. She could get in and have anything she sees and I don't mind. She has her own fridge in her room that we keep stocked with yogurt and snacks. So its unusual for her to be in there. But what infuriated me was how she yells at the kids when they reach in to get a popcycle. She says they are wasting electricity. Yet she stands there for a good minute or two with both doors wide open. For no good reason. I come in and she's like oh your awake! I was just looking to see if you had somthing layed out for supper. I said yep its ready to cook. She's like well I wondered if you were gonna make anything for supper(like I've ever forgot) I said well I knew I had time to get a nap in. "Oh, so you were sleeping" I don't know why you need a nap, you get just as much sleep as I do!!!! What?!?! Really. I don't get done putting her to bed till almost 10. She wakes up all through the night, yes but then cat naps all day then denies it. She wants to be crappy cause I finnally got one in. She didn't get me up before I dozed off this time! She is so chold like selfish somtimes.then aftr supper I didn't get right back to her room as fast as she thought I should so she was being crappy again. Comes out saying never mind, if your to busy, you do have a kitty in here. But I will do it. Then I go in and she's all I was just gonna do it myself and put her right back in. The same thing at bedtime, comes out 10 min early playing the your to busy for me guilt trip that's so obvious. I'm so wound up somtimes I can't sleep when I do get a chance to go early. That was my day in a nut shell!!! So sowwwy:) it took so long to put it there. Can you imagine the long version of my day with her. Nope this wasn't it! Good nigh everyone. Big big hugs to all.

Oh and to top it all off, fil informs me while I was gone to t ball he was checkin on her and watched her trying to get into my bedroom, she succeded in getting it open too. I lock it cause its happened in the past. She tried to convince him it was broke. And it is, a screw is missing from the lock plate, but I left it cause it makes it harder ot unlock, she had got it unlocked and couldn't get it locked back casue you have to pull that little plate and make it pop. I knew once again it was locked before I left, but thought maybe I ws in such a rush to get outta the house I forgot to pop the plate. Any suggestions on keeping an old lady outta your bedroom. I thought about putting some things in there to make her never want to look again, like nudey mags and anus cream!!! What you all think???

ASG....I vote for the mags and cream.....:) Oh my goodness Aunt is a handful. Is she looking for anything in particular? I think I would just get a keyed dead bolt installed. No way she would be able to get the door opened. We keep the door locked between our house and the col's because if we didn't she would be wandering into our house all the time. When we first moved her here, I would hear this little hello all the time, so we made the decision that it was best to just keep it locked. Earlier this evening when I busted her out picking weeds again, I was the big, bad bully. When I put her to bed at 10 I was the sweetest thang and took such good care of her......yeah whatever. I was thinking pillow therapy also...:)

Love and Hugz,
Jam

pillow therapy? lol, I know that one, and have thought about it myself a few times.. Mom's sleeping peacefully for the moment and I am terrified of sleeping myself, I'm a deep sleeper and she might fall and I won't know it till she hits the ground.

The dead bolt sounds like the way to go, I am beginning to wonder if I am going to need to box up all of mom's meds and take them with me when I leave the house, everytime I leave my brother with mom, I make sure that I have all her medications laid out and instructions left, only to come back and find out they dug through the others trying to figure out what she is suppose to have.. I'm really worried that they might between the two of them, give/take to much..

Will have to look at that I guess in the morning and figure out what it is I can do, really hate to go to that length, but might have too. My brother really wants to help, he just can't help the way his illness has affected him, and the worse part I guess is that he doesn't even realize it has. Mom at least knows that she is falling apart.. but that doesn't make it any easier.

Guess I ought to try and close my eyes for a little, tomorrow/today is going to be a very long day, have mom's cna due out to give her a bath, and then the nurse is due out, she tried calling the other day and got my brother, she finally gave up trying to tell him anything, just kept repeating she'd talk to me.. Hope that you have all gotten some kinda rest.

Good morning everyone...you are so right seeme, I am happy for the first time in a long time.. feels good... beating me with a 2x4, reminds me of someone, just can't think who right off , it'll come to me tho....
I have to share about "Sonny", he is the husband of the couple I take care of...He has Alz, but is at the first stages and is so sweet and funny. Him and I go for a walk every morning before it gets too hot. We'll be walking along, chatting, and he will just stop. I stop to see what he is doing.. he is looking at leaves that the wind or squirrels have knocked down from the trees.. sometimes he picks them up, and then sometimes he will say he wonders how those things got out of that tree....Sometimes I have to "fill in the blank" as he will loose a word. It got up to 101 yesterday so we didn't get to spend much time outside... so when I got ready to leave he follows me out the door. I said " do you need something Sonny?" His reply, " no, I'm going with you", Took a few minutes to get him back in the house, Ms. M , his wife, is so patient with him... " Sonny, she doesn't live here, but she will be back tomorrow". He looked so sad... but went back in the house...
I cut his fingernails yesterday, got them all looking nice, and you would have thought he won the lottery!!! He is very sweet and kept saying thank you. Then he goes in and shows Ms. M, like it was the first time he had ever had his nails cut, he was so proud, kept showing her until she finally said, "Sonny, didn't you want to lay down for awhile", then like the little happy camper he is, off to the couch he goes, lays down, and is out like a light... He wouldn't eat his lunch, so I suggested an ensure. He LOVES chocolate, so gave him one and he just went on and on about how good it was....
I am seeing Ms.M easing out a little more each day. She has MDS, has had it for about 8 years, has to have blood transfusions every two weeks,so there are days she is very tired.. but she has her mind, sharp as a tack... she is not bossy, and I ask her many questions about how she wants things done.. we will get into a routine, then I will be complaining that I am bored. Going from my lady Ruth who could raise the roof, pee on the porch if I turned my back for two seconds, and hide bananas in her depends, threatening to cut my throat with a butcher knife... to Sonny and Ms. M,
I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop....!!!!! But have worked with Alz. enough to know this will change for Sonny. But I feel Ms. M will be receptive to things I may suggest about Sonny's care..... not like BG fighting me about everything....If I wake up from this dream, just shoot me... I am getting too old to keep having to change jobs...
Payday,,, yeha, haven't had a REAL one of those in so long I won't know how to act...I'll probably do a "Sonny" and just stare at my check, then go throw it over into the neighbors yard....
Jam, At least if the col was in the concrete up to her little ankles, you would know where she was...something for you to think about...
Sorry seeme that I wasn't up to play last night... don't have to work weekends so we can get caught up in the next few days...
ASG, oh lady, you are so much more patient than I am.. How about I send you some tapes with MY voice saying.. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING"....".DON'T TALK TO THE KIDS THAT WAY" .... "THE CAT HAS RUN AWAY"....."YOU ARE WASTING ELECTRICITY"..... " WHY ARE YOU IN MY ROOM".... and anything else you need. I have a deep voice, she may think it was God talking to her, and scare the pants off her and she would stop being such a nasty meanie...I can do that for you, just let me know...
starri,I hope you do not feel I am being disrespectful of your situation.My heart breaks for you, your mom and your brother.I do not know how you do it and I have nothing but respect for you and the load you carry. Hoping some of the silliness will help you to laugh, and you get a temporary respite from the day to day stuff. Laughter saved my life when I was with my lady Ruth. I will miss her for the rest of my life...
If I missed anyone, sorry. will have more time this weekend and will get caught up on everyone... and starri, I am sorry the meds are not staying down, is she still refusing the morphine ..??? She would be so much more comfortable, and you would be less stressed... hugs and prayers to all of you... check in later this evening...

Ladee, I would in no way think that you were disrespecting me or anything.. I cracked up at your suggestions for the "tapes", I'll offer my voice if you need something different, I've been mistaken as a man a lot of times.. I hope your day is going well, mine is going to start heading that way, I am home now and going to lay down before I fall down.

Starri....please take this as only a suggestion. I have put mom's medicines up in a kitchen cabinet so high that she would need a step stool to get them. I got one of those pill dispensers for the week, and fill it every Sat. night. That also helps me know what needs to be refilled at the pharm. Then I give them to her to open, which might make her remember what day it is for a couple of min. Then sometimes I don't. But if brother could do that much, it might make it easier. Of course you might have to tape the rest of the days closed. Just a thought. She probably has meds to be given at different times, and you seem like a smart lady, so sowwy if I wasted your time.

ASG.....I think I have told you before that I LOVE your stories !! Please keep them coming...

Jam...I thought about you fitting col with concrete shoes, but Ladee beat me to it. Is Target supervising?

Good morning!!!!

ladee.......I didn't think fast enough last night.........the concrete has already set up and now I can't get her out there! She would have made a nice perch for the birds.
I'm so glad that you are in a happy position....do you eat bananas? I think of Ruth every time I do!

Woke up this morning to an orange front yard. Called the "straw boss" and landed in his lap......if momma isn't happy, ain't nobody happy!!!!!!! I'm normally pretty easy to get along with, but I do not want my front yard looking like something a toddler would have drawn. They got the stamp off kilter in a couple of spots and didn't bother to fix it. So they all should be here shortly and we will have a nice little talk.

starri......I put out the col's meds in a weekly container. Then I have one of those small ones for am and pm. In the evening I take her meds for that night and watch her take them and then leave her am meds. I keep track of them that way and sometimes she will get up very early in the morning, like 2 am, and be confused and take the am meds and then start beeping me on the intercom around 11 that "I don't have any morning pills". Yes you do, I gave them to you last night, and you took them already. "I don't think so". That the scenario EVERY SINGLE TIME she does that. But doling them out that way keeps me on track so I know for a fact when she takes her morning. And I know she won't take extra. When we first moved her here, she was still capable of medicating herself and when I went to get her bottle to refill I saw that she had gone 10 days without her pm meds....so I took control of them. If we go anywhere for more than one night, I will give the weekly container to the woman who watches her and she does the same thing I do with the smaller container.

Bout time for my front yard boys to be here, better get my Valium on board...:)

seeme.......how's the bunnies? Going to go check my peas in a little while, probably need to water them.

Love and Hugz,
Jam

seeme........Target always leaves everything to me unless I throw a temper tantrum. He would have just told me to go feed the col twice a day......:) Right now he's taking his usual morning nap and won't even come outside. I have to go to the bank after getting through with the "boys"..........I would love to have one day when I wasn't having to do something......take my kindle...:).....raspberry iced tea and just go sit on the deck. And listen to "all those animal noises" as the col calls them!

hi JAM i read your comment and i think that most of us do ask and mean how YOU .....JAM ....how are you doing ... as a caregiver, even family assumes you are doing the best you can for your loved one. so the thought rarely crosses the minds of others to ask how the loved one is doing. we tell how they are doing and what is going on in their world because it effects us and what we do on a daily or on a minunit basis. I understand that dealing with a healthy but dementia loved one can try your patients, my grandma lived with us for about 10 yrs after grandpa past away and the dementia slowly but progressively got worse. she did not want anyone to take care of her and would not corroperate with people all the time. and was not plesent and YET IT WAS GRANDMA. so you love her and at the same time get angry and upset with the whole mess.
I now care for my moma and thank god she has all her facilties but is phically disabled and over her life time she now is dependent on me for all the help with the basis of living. i get flustrated because i am not a home body at all and she is content to sit at home. but i have no money and her income is all we have to live on for the month. so i try to really extended the first part of the month when we go somewhere and take all day doing outings so i can at least go somewhere out and away from the house an moma has learned that YES we will go OUT and eat when we are out.
HANG IN THERE JAM AND WE ARE ALL BEHIND YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONE we also think of you on a daily basis even if we are not on the site
caregiver and friend TRUECOLORS