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@johnnycares Not being assaulted with flying objects is always a good thing. *wink* And thanks for the welcome. :)
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You could not confuse us anymore then I get nowadays, I just am so grateful for my wife and I getting along so good now. Kinda like when we first got married and did the adjusting thing as most newlyweds do right after the honeymoon !
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Karmic, I wasn't confused by your name, but I am usually confused about most everything else... Yes we are silly here, if we are laughing we are not crying, it's about picking our pain sometimes...
Johnny, so happy to hear you are getting a "second honeymoon". You and her are able to make new memories and that is priceless. She must be very grateful to have you, and for you to have her. It is nice to see some married folks actually are happy to be together..
Starri, any sleep today??? Let us know what hospice said and did.
Seeme, I just love you, plain and simple,,, hope you get some rest soon..
Jam, so happy to hear you got the caregiver you wanted... sounds like things are going to work out fine for a change...
ASG, I love you too, but I meant what I said about the cat... but I still love you......
Hope to hear from the rest of the new folks to let us know how you are and what is going on in your world... we think about you even if you don't post... hugs to everyone...
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well can I jump in? today has been terrible well the last two days have. I have been beat like crazy. Hubby was on namenda and exelon neither helped even tried the drink. He is talking to people that are not here. He sees his father who died when he was 16, and is just so full of rage. He is on abilify but it is not helping. dr up the dose but so far I am still the punching bag. He never takes a nap and does not want me to do anything but sit and look at him. He does not understand what is being said and cannot carry on a conversation. He dumps his food and drink in the floor and pulls the sheets off the bed. He told me he would probably kill me a day or so ago and he about did today. I dont know how much more I can take and I have no help. I do have a lady who comes for me to go for 4 hours to the nursing home once a week to see my sister who had a stroke. I find myself wishing he or I was dead and even pray that I will not wake up. I cant go outside which I love. If I go out the front door to mess in my roses and other flowers he starts walking up the highway. If I go out the back door he tries to get out front door or does something really off the wall in the house. I know I need to put him somewhere but just cant bring my self to do it. someone said when they start seeing dead people the were near death. I know one thing one of us has got to get out of this house.
He might be talking to my dead body soon. Thanks for letting me vent. Oh I cant have the tv on because he thinks the people are real and he gets mad at them also. H E L P !!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Well, that's good Ladeeda...because I just 'got' your name right now. You're one up on me. LOL!
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54,I'm not sure what to say.. You know what needs to be done, and all I can do is pray for you....
Karmic.... all my friends call me Ladee, pronounced like Lottie, but with a d instead of tt.It confuses a lot of people, they think it is like Lady, nope, I am not a lady, but I am a Ladee... tell us about yourself...
To the other lady that posted, I am sorry I forgot to write down your name,, the one that made the choice to keep dad on antibiotics... good for you. If that is what your heart and head are telling you to do, then no wonder you are peace with it... let us know how you are doing, and an update about your dad... I will get your name next time, sorry, hugs to everyone..
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54j, I am a bit scared for you! Does hubby take any psych meds? It sounds like he needs them. I thought about asking about different door locks but he might get mad and hurt you? Keep a cell phone with you! I once had to lock myself in a bathroom to protect myself from Mother and ended up calling the police who took her to the hospital where she stayed for a week to get some drugs tweaked. I wasn't too scared because I could run faster, but seriously, do take care of yourself! And you need more help--sons? Grandsons? Church friends?
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54J, yes I think is about time your hub goes to a NH... You can't handle it by yourself! I am so sorry for you!
JAM, i wanted to tell you about the coffee a long time ago. COL does not need stimulants. Coffee without caffeine is much better!
ASG, I am sorry. Sometimes I am blunt. My cats eat whenever they want; it is summer now and they mostly eat dry food: I leave a bowl in a place that the dogs can't reach and they go self service. I buy good dry food in specialized shops, (if you buy it in large bags you save a lot of money), because the dry food of the supermarkets sometimes is bad for the kidneys. (I buy IAMS) And I give them wet food just early in the morning, and in the evening. But most of the time they decide when and how much they want to eat. Of course I have 15 cats so I never know how much each one of them eats! In summer they eat much less than in winter, so don't worry if she seems to lose appetite.
Karmicelephant, I wrote you on the other thread.
Gosh I have to go to work (Ladee, my sewage system got broken and I dread the bill of the plumber! 10 translations maybe will be enough to pay for it!!!!)
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I rarely have time for the comp. but checked in tonight and found this thread. How nice. Enjoyed reading some of the posts. Will certainly try to visit more often.
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54...I posted a message on your wall. ;)
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Oh Rossella, you just can't catch a break can you.... Your work is so tiring and time consuming, and then you have to give your money to a plumber.... that just isn't fair... When I lived down home, at one point I had 18 cats!!!! I lived outside the city so they had plenty of room.. I had a house fire and neighbors got the cats out... when I put the "Thank You" in the newspaper, I put all the cats names... ad cost me a fortune... only have one now, she is 15 and I call her Diva, or Girlie, depends on whether or not she wants me messing with her... so we are the crazy cat ladies on this sight... don't ya love it... love ya.....
yearight, hope to see you again. You are welcome here, as is said often ,pull up a chair, a cup of coffee and let us get to know you... hugs to you
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Welcome yearight.....please do come back.....we're a fun bunch and we might even know what we're talking about occasionally.....:)

Rossella.......even though the col was using such a big pot....I started putting decaf in the canister a long time ago. That's just like Nexium "it's the staff of life" according to her and that nasty Prilosec doesn't work. I changed her to Prilosec about 8 mo ago and told her it was generic Nexium. She doesn't know better and it works. She called tonight to visit and sat there on the phone arguing about the rules she will have to acknowledge before she comes home. I'm slowly coming to realize she will never stop arguing.....that is something she is just going to do. But I can guarantee her new care giver will not allow her to do anything she is not supposed to do. I will have to remind hubby that when she is here, we cannot interfere with her handling of the col unless she calls and says she needs help.

Still trying to catch up on posts.....

Love and Hugz,
Jam
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I LOVE YOU JAM, you are such a baby sometimes... now, is everything all better now.????? I really do love ya and sorry I left your name out today... I'll make it up to you and try to behave for a day or two.... nahhhhhh, not gonna happen...
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Years ago they use to have mental hospitals where they put persons like that but I guess it got to costly for the states and now they are in places like your house or homeless out in the streets. But abuse is a buse,please save your self
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I love you too ladee.....and yes, thank you.....I'm better now and I think I can sleep....;)
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deefer.....I will check tomorrow when we go to see her again. Make sure hubby looks at her med sheet because I want to know exactly what she is on right now. So far the only change I have seen is her memory is declining more. Tonight when she called, she talked about her house at 1015. That was the address of her old house that we moved her out of. She didn't recall living next to us. Last night we sat in her room for about an hour then walked her to the dining room, and before she would start to eat she wanted to show us her room. Recent memory is gone. Some long term seems to still be there, but it's rambling and disjointed and she gets facts wrong. She told us tonight that she is ready to come home because everyone else there are just Forrest Gumps.....:)
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karmic....I hope I'm still able to take down drapes at 90...wow! I don't think I will have to worry a whole lot about the col watching CNN all day anymore because she was already having trouble remembering how to use the remote before she went into the hospital. She focuses on the macabre and bizarre.......every single night it's a show on another child beaten, stabbed, burned, raped, shot, abused in some manner, mutilated, killed....I wouldn't think that would do the demented mind a lot of good. And she likes to use her small tv in her bedroom as a nightlight and we use a transmitter and receiver that works off her tv in the living room, so whatever she was watching is on there also. She's happy when she runs across the old shows on TVland or a John Wayne movie so maybe I will start changing her tv to those.

Hope everyone has a good night and try to get a little bit of sleep....supposed to storm here by early morning....I hope I see a sleep-in coming....enjoy it while I can.

Love and Hugz,
Jam
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Yes, Jam, if COL likes coffee, a surrogate is okay... My mother likes to have her decaf in the morning! I shall always give it to her.
Ladee, what can I say! if the plumber solves the problem I am even too happy- Otherwise I shall have to remake the plant and I am shivering at the idea! These are the disadvantages of living in your own house. If something gets broken you can't share the cost with other families!
This morning one of my cats and one of my dogs kissed each other for a quarter of an hour. These are beautiful things to see!
BTW, I am not "visiting" here... I write here and on the other thread as well because I have friends here and there, and I don't want to give up any of you!
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Love ya Rossella, you are my queen cat hero.... did you take pics of the kissing cat and dog??? later hugs across the miles
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Oh my! I haven't thought of it. Next time I'll do it! The dog was kissing me, too; it was a triple kiss. And the cat and I made head against head. (love at sunrise!)
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I have to take care of my mother now... All day long! I hope we'll both survive.
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Good Morning, Everyone, Things really started happening here after I went to bed, not that I lept much, but I got enough to make it another day. Hello to all the new people here. Stick around so I can learn your names and your situations.....

Johnny, Hello and please say hi to Miss Betty for me. Glad you are newlyweds again. I remember back then.......barely !!!

Car 54, I am really sorry about your situation, and it sounds like you have some decisions only you can make. You don't DESERVE to be beaten for all that you do. As long as you realize that. And there are no medals to be won.

Rosella, I keep telling my husband to have aur septic tank pumped out. I have let all the flushable wipes go down the toilet, but lately there have been so many. Our yard is flat and it only costs $200 for 3-4 years worry free, but it is a matter of pride with him, so he says no. He works in that dept. with the city, so he knows better than I do. HUH !!! We will see ..........

Karmic...........we like being silly here, it saves our sanity. And don't be surprised if we don't stay on topic. We say what is on our minds.....what is left of our minds.... it may be difficult to tell if we are the patients or the caregivers at times.

Starri, what shift are you on today? Only one more day till you give the insurance company "what for", huh? Get some answers or you will be next. That candle must be pretty short by now, burning it at both ends. I know. Hope bro stayed home at night. Isn't it kinda mountainous there? I just see him on twisty curvy mountain roads in the middle of the night.......but bless his heart that he knows you need the help.

Jam, I don't think rain would make any difference in stringing up the fence now, so enjoy the sleep-in if you got one. And if it rains tomorrow they only have to worry about the electric part. HAHAHA I just saw them in my mind standing there, sudden downpour, and they all have their hair sticking out, they are perpendicular to the fence and their eyes are bugged out. Welcome home, col !! heeheehee OK.......ok........lack of sleep, I know.

Ladee....love you girl......I'm hanging in there....got an apology from mom last night for her meltdowns yesterday......she didn't know she was talking to me, but kept saying she had to aplolgize to me. Guess she thought I was Kathy. I knew she would, just not like her to jump on me like she did. So we are OK now. Just put her heater on in her room....she will probably sleep now. Still up numerous times at night.

Let me catch up some more. Ya'll were busy on here last night !!!
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dmd..........Sometimes gut feelings are the best. Not only were they correct in the situation with your dad, in this case, they saved you from possible guilt later had hospice had its way. Feel free to act on those feelings. Sometimes daughters know best, and you have done the best you can.

yearight...........sorry you don't have more time for us, but post when you can. Maybe we can give you a chuckle know and then.

Time for breakfast....hubby promised omelets this morning. Then I want to tear up some plants in the garden and start some diferent ones. Got too many snow peas and no garden peas. Heat should go back down to normal soon. Everyone have a blessed Sunday. Prayers for all.............
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I still cry every now and then. Miss my mum. Funny, the week we prepared for her joining my pop, the roses in her garden bloomed like crazy. We cut some and put them in a vase for her wake. This week the roses are drooping. Almost like a sign. Another strange thing - my mom passed just about 1-2 weeks right before my dad did in 94. Another strange thing - I lost my job when my dad passed and right now I am also unemployed. Sigh. I may try to run er walk to release my stress and sadness.
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Hey, ya'll, yesterday and last night was a "H" of a time, Mom's really not doing well, it's to the point now that she has to be lifted up to try and get her out of bed, and then you have to lift her from the bed to the pot, and Thank you ladies, have been using the knee's and lifting, still hurts like hell.

Had Hospice out today, she came in and checked her out, I was afraid of pneumonia, the way she was breathing and coughing, Nurse said that she didn't sound like there was fluid in the lungs.. We ended up putting in a cath, that way I don't have to worry about trying to get her out of bed, and neither does the brother, I worried about him trying to move her cause he is so unsteady on his own.

She's not really able to eat and drink anymore, she spits up everything she tries to take in. It's not going to be much longer and we have to consider hospice house, I hate to do that, but we will not have much of a choice about it. Cleaning her after a poo is going to be a two person job..

Thank you for all your advice, it's been a God Send... Time to try and get some rest before I get the first call for help.
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Morning everyone.. hope everyone is moving around and having their morning coffee, depends which time zone we are in...
ludwig... your story about the roses reminded me when my mom passed away and the magnolia tree that had never bloomed. She had planted the tree 16 years before she passed away and it had never bloomed. The day after she died it was full of beautiful ,wonderful smelling flowers ... we decided God had put her in charge of things that didn't bloom, she would get the job done..It has been 27 years and I still miss her. Prayers sent your way this morning..
Karmic, silly but serious when needed... that is our motto. as you can see it is not all silliness, but the laughter gets us thru..hope you keep posting
Starri, happy to hear they finally did the cath.. that will make things so much easier.. I know you have a difficult decision ahead of you, but trust in yourself , you will know when the time is right..prayers sent your way
seeme, happy to hear mom apologized, that Dr.s appt. cant get here soon enough..
ASG, how is it going with Aunt Acid, you know I am making a joke here, it is a play on words, no offense intended...and yes you still vent about her and I will keep my mouth shut. You are doing what works for you and that is good enough for me.. OK?
Jam, love ya, don't want to get your day started thinking I left you out again... by the way the brace on my leg is really helping. As smart as I am(???), I do lack in common sense at times...
Rossella, yes please take pics of all the "kissing"... hope your last house disaster does not cost you a fortune...
If I missed anyone, I'll catch you later, hugs across the miles to everyone..love you too seeme.
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Starri, my heart goes out to you. I was going to suggest that hospice get you an electric hospice bed but it sounds like you won't have her in your home much longer. If she does happen to rally, do remember that hospice should be able to provide the bed and an electric lift if you need/want it. I use the lift to get my mom out of bed and into a wheelchair so she can sit in other rooms of her house, but I would leave her in bed if she had a cath, I think.
My mother has slept all but 5 hours of the last 48 hours. She still eats when she wakes but I think she is just being compliant; she takes everything I put in her mouth. I don't understand why some days she is fairly alert and interacts but other days she just sleeps all the time. I wish I could spread around some of her sleeping time to your loved ones so you other caregivers could get some sleep.

Anyway, I am very blessed to have a sitter I can trust and that Mother has enough Social Security income to cover some sitting; Joyce is coming this morning to stay til Thursday while I go with most of our family to the beach. Going to thoroughly enjoy my grandkids for a few days. I'll be praying for and thinking of you all though while I'm gone. Taking my laptop and probably won't be able to stay away from y'all!
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onacliff, so happy to hear you are getting away and getting some time with the grandkids.... have a good time and let us know you are relaxing and having fun... hugs to you..
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Cliff......have some beach time for me too.........
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Yes the beach sounds sooooo good,reminds me of a time when I took my granddaughter to the beach and she said,” look at all the sons of bitches,Of-course she meant to say look at all the sand in the beaches” Have a good time,because johnnycares
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