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Jam, Caffeine Free coffee.....and REAL COCA COLA in the rum !!!!
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Morning everyone, Starri, I really hope you start using Hospice more, they are so wonderful, at least my experiences with them have been. They answer any and all questions, any time day or night... And happy to hear your brother relieved you, but hope he doesn't do the night time thing too often...dangerous..
Ona, as jam said good suggestions, and we all have back problems, none of us listen ...
Jam, I want to come play Bingo with the col in the compound when she gets home... can I ? can I ? Huh?

Seeme, sure hope you get some sleep and rest today... Mom won't wear depends ???? Maybe she would let you use the bedpan at night or are you already doing that??? I have been where you are with no sleep... just felt brain dead... slipped into
cyborg caregiver, did things automatically...
Love to everyone,, catch up more later
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Good 4 u seemeride,have a good buss and relax,hugs,johnnycares
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ladee......you can come and play with the col any time you want. Just let me know when you're coming, cuz I want to see you climb over the electric wire on the fence! Gotta get my camera out...................
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Wouldn't it be nice to find "real coke"........that stuff they make these days just ain't got it....lol. Unfortunately I must have REAL coffee.....if I don't there is not enough hydrocodone in the world to take away the headache. And I have been giving the col caffeine-free for a long time....she just doesn't know the difference. It's just like the Nexium.....her insurance took it off their formulary.....so I've been buying generic Prilosec and telling her it's generic Nexium. It works and is a heck of a lot cheaper and she's happy. No harm, no foul.

Love and Hugz,
Jam
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Hey ladee, I love ya too:), seemer, hey lady, no id never tell you to get a life lol. Other peoples storys is what helps me to. I was just busy yesterday, got outta taking aunt to the Dr. And an old friend came by, asked if I wanted to go garage saleing. Hubby said go ahead he would watch the kids. This was a friend who had a hard time accepting my new cargiver role. She appoligized for her words and explained that her family cared for granny when she was a child so she knew how hard it would be. I told her she could have been a friend and clued me in on that fact, instead of behaving the way she did. She agreed. We also talked anout how she dealt with it as a child. She said they did fine it was just hard at the time but they got over it and probably learned a lot from it. She gave me some ideas on how their mom helped them deal with the circumstances. It was la good time. Starri, I'm glad your brother came to help you last night. One that was very good advice to her. Nice link. This is a caring bunch of people. Hey johnny!! How's it going. Jam!!! Everyone else. If I missed ya I'm hugging you too!
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Hey Jam, Mom had exelon and it made her crazy. We took her off of aricept twice, and whatever brain she had left just disappeared! So she continues with aricept and is now on Namenda too. The neurologist said they work well together. Mom was getting pretty bad with communicating and following directions. She was not interacting in daycare and was getting worse with her attitude.
She was gradually introduced to Namenda over an 8 week period, to full dosage. Within the first week we noticed an improvement and daycare was thrilled that she got some of her old personality back. It has definitely made a difference in her. The dementia is still very bad, but she now smiles more and interacts with people better. She is also less agitated and nasty. This is just my experience, but you might want to talk to her doctors about trying her on Namenda. Like I said, we saw a difference within days, and Mom has advanced dementia.
Starri, definitely try to get some help! You can't keep up with this pace.
Seeme, Does your mom take anything to help her sleep? Mom has 1 seroquel (25mg) at night, and sleeps through the night.
As for diapers, I found a brand that keeps the bed from being wet every morning. It's Abena premium night time pullups and I order them a case at a time from XPMedical. I also bought her some plastic pants to wear over them and have much less laundry. For daytime I get her Tranquility pullups that are also better than what you can buy at the local drug store. If you order them by the case, it is much cheaper.
One more day in Seattle! I'm not looking forward to going back home!
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Starri thanks for the info on the cat. The can does say a kitten will eat twice the amojnt of a grown cat. So I think our kitty is slowing down maybe. Our big cat we have outside, he eats all the food we put out for him, plus he gets into the dog food, and the neighbors feed him. It made me mad at fist, I thought they were trying to keep him in their house. But they let him back out. They are elderly and they will call something out to him and he runs over there. They open the door to a sunroom on the back of their house and he goes on in,setd in their window then eventually comes back out. They put food out for him also. I know he knows this is where he belongs though cause they were yelling for him one day and I noticed him starting to walk over so I clicked my toungue and he walked over to me and sat down next to my feet like a dog would lol. Anyways, that's when I figured out they were calling for him. He such a pretty cat. big huge beautiful cat. Black with golden eyes. He follows my son around like a dog would lol. He's the only oerson he does that to. My son will say come here blaine and blaine follows him around. Its sweet. Don't think I could ever replace him. When I go outside to smoke at night after the aunt has gone to bed, esspecially if I am feeling upset, he knows I think. He comes up and rubs around me then gets up un my lap. I swears he knows how to cuddle and hug.
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I'm new here and I must say that reading some of these posts has brought tears to my eyes. In one sense, I feel relieved that I am not alone (my siblings are of little or no help at all) and in another sense, I am frightened by what's yet to come. I am so overwhelmed caring for my 80 year old mother! I am also solely responsible for taking care of her home, which is extremely cluttered and poorly organized...making the whole ordeal much harder on me (I have constant back pain now). She is very stubborn and refuses to change anything to accommodate me or make my job here easier and yet I've given up having my own home and my own life for hers. Of my 3 older siblings, one has not spoken to her in years (because she disapproves of my husband and I moving in here), one lives out of state and is clueless to what goes on here, and the other would not believe anything negative I were to say about her (plus he'd probably tell her everything anyway). So I truly feel I'm alone in this, aside from my husband who works 6 days a week and would much rather we left her up to my siblings to care for. However, the reason we moved in here in the first place was because no one was helping her, even though they lived much closer to her than we did at the time. I feel trapped, frustrated, and depressed...every morning when I awake, my heart sinks when I realize that I am still living here with her. And now that her mind is slipping things are only getting worse (before it was simply her physical condition). I hope this forum will help ease a little of my stress, before I crumble under the pressure. And all of you caregivers deserve a huge round of applause for doing what you do and enduring so much! Thanks for sharing your stories.
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Karmic.....Welcome to your friendly insane company. Pull up a chair and visit often, as this will relieve your tension, hopefully make you laugh, and you will get good tips on things if you ask. We won't judge you for any feelings you may have, truth be known, we have probably already had them ourselves. Just jump on in and learn about us and you will have a family in no time right here. And we know, believe me.

And you HAVE to explain your name to me !!!
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Welcome Karmic, everything seeme said is true, so come join us and you will be laughing before no time... Some of us have been at this so long we have sort of gone around the bend, but we are loving,caring and not judgmental...all except for me, when I jumped on ASG to let the cat out... we all have "moments", but I love ASG, she loves me and all is well.... happy to see you hear, hugs to you.
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Thanks, Seemeride. If insanity is a qualification here, then I should fit right in nicely!

My name was inspired by a saying by the Buddha, a verse of which is:

But if you cannot find
Friend or master to go with you,
Travel on alone–
Like a king who has given away his kingdom,
Like an elephant in the forest.

And that little bit of encouragement helps get me through each difficult day. I have almost no support from family when it comes to taking care of my mother and I am the only Buddhist (and also the only vegetarian) in a Christian family, but I "travel on alone".

And I'm sure I will visit here often...I have LOTS to vent about! LOL!
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Thank you, Ladeeda. Recently I told a friend that I felt I was officially a 'crazy old lady' and her response was "Congratulations! You made it!" I immediately got that feeling here, too. *wink*
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karmicelephant,how nice that u came into our little site,So a BIG welcome to you for doing so.,Feel free to say what you feel because as you know our peace of mind is what really matter,so hope aboard.hugs to u,because johnnycares
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Jam calls her mil the col(crazy old lady) we'll try not to get the two of you confused, unless you say something like "shoppy shoppy" then it will be up to Jam to know the difference.. Vent away, that's what we're here for .. hugs
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Karmic......glad you explained that cause I kept thinking "mice" or "elephant" , Which is it?? HAHAHAHAHA Pitiful, I know. Doing this in a sleepless stupor, and it will get worse before it gets better. Every time mom sees me on the computer or hears the keys clicking, she has to call out for me.

I'll try to get back on later.
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Good evening everyone.....trying to get caught up on email. Sat my behind in a gravity chair ALL AFTERNOON on the deck, temp around 79, can it get any better than that? Why yes it can.........................drum roll please.....................

WE HAVE A PART-TIME CARE GIVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can already feel the relief. Then my son calls to tell me that his Dad's brother was taken to the hospital today because he hasn't been feeling well....CT shows he is full of cancer. More than likely it started in the pancreas and has now metastasized to his liver and kidneys. If it's that advanced he probably only has about a month. Never had a problem with him......just couldn't stand his brother...:)

Hope everyone has had a good day and gotten some rest....I know I'm enjoying this respite I'm on!

Love and Hugz,
Jam
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Just enjoy and relax u deserve this r n r.
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seeme.....COW PATTY!!!!! I'm jealous ya know!

Thanks johnny....I am enjoying every minute. How's Betty feeling today?

Welcome karmic......happy to see you here and to know we have another insane friend! You just vent to your heart's content darlin'.....we like hearing the stories.....gives us someone else to make fun of besides ladee........love ya!

Hubby cooked dinner and I feel so sleepy......must have been all that EXERCISE I got today.........:)

Love and Hugz,
Jam
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Karmic, yes please, or anyone else for that matter, please let your goofy side show soon as to take the heat off me... I am the one who runs with scissors on this thread, so what Jam says is true, but , but , but, we are all a little off at times. That is why we are here, as a group to welcome, support, give hugs and just be silly once in awhile... couldn't have made it these past few months without the love and support of People like me walking this part of our journey.... love and hugs across the miles to everyone..
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Am I the only one who thinks of Rasputia (Eddie Murphy's female character in the movie Norbit) saying "How YOU doing?" whenever I visit this page? Or was that intentional? :D
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deefer....the exelon patch scares me....too many creepy side effects. The social worker told us the other day that they were starting Namenda, but the doctor said last night they were going to start Depakote today.....and I didn't ask if Namenda was on board or not. The way he talked last night, it's almost like they know her memory is gone, never to return, they are just trying to find something to control the manic attacks. It's really hard to sit in a room with 2 doctors talking back and forth and try to get a word in edgewise....even when one of them is your husband....lol. She didn't call us tonight telling us to come get her, so we figured she is probably zoned out. I'm going to call the nurses station in a bit. I have this gut feeling that her days on this earth are numbered. I can't put my finger on it, but her whole being is "shoppy shoppy" or "out to eat" and if she doesn't have that, there isn't anything else.

Love and Hugz,
Jam
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well karmic.....now that you mention it...........:)
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Jam, my grandfather lived to be 91 and it wasn't until he fell and broke a hip at age 90 that he started to decline mentally. He still travelled all over the country by himself and he volunteered. I really think that when one's reasons for living and one's passions in life are taken away that mental decline can suddenly set in. Which is also why I try not to disrupt my mother's routine of watching her favorite crime shows in rerun repeatedly (kill me now) and I try to keep to her maddening routines as best I can. My grandfather fell and broke his hip while trying to take down his drapes to be dry-cleaned. Yes, at age 90!
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Jam, Mom was getting more and more difficult and we didn't know what to do. That's when the neurologist started her on Namenda. It started to calm her down the first week and she kept on improving steadily. She is much happier now and not so off the wall. It is definitely worth a try. It may be what she needs to keep her thoughts from running rampant. By the way, my mom is pretty far gone dementia wise. Sure hope this helps!
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This is a good idea. My father was again taken to the hospital yesterday. I thought I was resigned to the idea of hospice and we had an evaluation today. However, dad is responding to the treatment at the hospital and I just cannot wrap my mind around the idea of not treating my dad with antibiotics that can help him. Hospice would not treat with antibiotics and I don't think I could live with myself if I choose to let an infection take his life when there is medicine available. I also have found that even with hospice I still will have the lion's share of caregiving and will still need to private pay for caregivers to help me. After careful thought I am now feeling comfortable with the plan to keep on with medical treatment for my father and dad's doctor has been wonderful in supporting me. I also am comfortable with the decision I've made today to take a long leave of absence from work to concentrate on dad and to continue with the hired CNA's, calling in home nursing, physical therapy and occupational therapy when dad comes home. I can always choose hospice later when his condition is worse and he is more ready.

So today I'm feeling more confident in my plan to care for dad. I have a night home alone without dad to care for and without caregivers in my home and am thoroughly enjoying it. Tomorrow may be different, but for now I'm good.
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pa was on namenda for a while . ins wont pay for it . he was on exclon patch i hated it , i watch him go down hill and watch him refuse to eat and watch him get skinney till one day there was a warning on tv about exclon patch , hubby said ah ! its killin ur dad ! i stop givin it to him , he ate happy and perked up . exclon patch sucks !
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asg- i read about ur cat going over to the neighbor , thats good ur neighbor cares for ur cat . most neighbor would shoot the cats ass . ur cat sounds like my louie , he too thinks hes a dog . i love those kinds of cat . i cant stand the kind that demands to be petted and meows too much , i had a cat once she d whine and whine and whinnnneeeeeeee, geeze . think she was just begin a b#tch .
hell now it sounds like me begin one .
karmice - im thinking youre a mice ! lol welcome and you fit right on in too .
goodnight u all xoxo
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Hi theredeefer12 where do we get our names from???,My wife is also on Namenda and she is very good on this medicatiion,she still forget but can keep track of me and her some thing, she doesn’t get mad and throw thing at me,so i like it.
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Just for the record (and sorry for the confusion) I could not insert that critical underscore in my name when I registered here LOL! You people here are silly, but I like it! My name is Jan. But I will answer to anything beginning with the letter J (as my father never could get our names right) and I guess I can learn to answer to any names involving mice or elephants. :D
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